=DD

Intangible

2008-12-12T10:48:00.001-08:00

A LONG LONG TIME AGO, on the 27th of November, jiaxiang and I went to SITEX to shop. I remember the date clearly for 2 reasons. One - I did tell someone I'm going there. Two - I needed my hard drive back from jiaxiang desperately to watch the movies I stored on it. Three - because I did get to tell someone I'm going there, something bad happened between us. No link.

I wasn't there to *shop*, honestly. I had clearly in mind what I wanted - a 1 TB HARD DRIVE that is PORTABLE and CHEAP. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, they're pretty much mutually exclusive. I could sense the evil plot in those manufacturer's minds : not one brand could accomplish all 3. According to jiaxiang, it is due to "technological limitations". I could choose to buy a Maxtor drive that looks like an elephant but costs $180 only, or buy one from Western Digital that looks sleek but costs up to $230. Even though the specifications are the same (3.5 inch), the size varies like what the peanuts. YES, IT'S JUST LIKE SOMEONE'S WIVE WHO SAID $600K IS PEANUTS.

After walking around for 2+ hours around a damn crowded Expo, I decided to just grab a $209 Seagate freeagent drive. Ok I know that didn't make sense to any of you. It's just something that looks better than an elephant, but that's pretty purpose defeating since I won't be looking at it all the time - it's not THAT portable.

Just so that you've been wondering WTF IS THE POINT OF YOUR ENTRY, I'm going to get to it soon. Jiaxiang wanted his Western Digital Black Caviar 1 TB hard drive really badly. The only reason why I could remember those 4 words so clearly was because he mentioned it to every booth at SITEX. Just to illustrate how fussy he can get, a booth sold Western Digital GREEN something something. Same size LOWER price. I went "EH LOOK TAKE THAT ONE LA" because my legs were wobbling already. Jiaxiang was firm like fuck - "cannot la. this one cannot anyhow de lor. green is for saving power leh. black got different performance de lor"

._.

After walking around for another hour, it became clear that his hard drive wasn't sold at SITEX - because he was looking for an internal one. Apparently IT shows decided to sell those that can be customized easily only, and if we were to get his internal hard drive, we had to get to one of the outlets at.... sim lim square. And so jiaxiang asked me "eh now still early hor. you don't mind come with me to city hall right?" It was 6.30 already, and I could easily just take a train up to pasir ris and take a straight bus home. BUT SOMEHOW, my mouth gaped here and there and said "anything lor lets go".

If you were observant enough, you'll notice that sim lim square isn't at city hall. BUT THAT'S WHERE WE WENT! Imagine me lugging my semi-elephant box while catching up with a hyper jiaxiang. I don't quite get how many cans of red bull he drank that day, but apparently he ran all over funan IT mall (next to city hall mrt) and called someone else, only to realise that sim lim was at bugis. In the end I was so cui that I was 1 level below him at sim lim square - he told me to wait for him while he go get his drive. It was an epic race against time - we reached a shop which closes at 9 at around 8.48. And jiaxiang still behaved as though he was still full of red bull.
We ate dinner somewhere, but didn't say anything through out. He was clutching on to his hard drive, checking it incessantly, making sure he really did get the right one.

On my way home I contemplated sitting on the box containing my drive - it's slightly less unglam than sitting on the MRT floor. I wondered why performance was that important as compared to power saving - saving the earth ftw. I wondered why he couldn't do without that Western Digital Caviar Black, and not simply take an elephantine one like I wanted to. I wondered why I needed a 1 TB drive just because my 250 GB one was left with 6 GB too, not that any of it was used for porn. I wondered why I never thought of pangseh-ing him once since back at Expo.

It's because he didn't pangseh me once throughout the A level year (this very year) when I asked him a BILLION (literally) questions like a nub. Thanks.

9R4MM4R

2008-11-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

I *got* nothing better to do.

Q: What will happen to electrons, with kinetic energy of a few hundred eVs, when they are incident onto a carbon film?

The answer was *obvious*, but came with a weird phrasing. It's some MCQ by the way.

A: They see the carbon lattice like a diffraction grating and get diffracted.

OK THAT WASN'T SOME APRIL FOOL'S JOKE. Apparently, electrons now get the 5 senses animals have and are capable of making choices too. They can choose NOT to see the diffraction grating and not get diffracted. This would not be a problem had the other choices been weird too, but nope, they happen to be comparatively more normal. I didn't highlight/bold/italicized the word *comparatively* because you did see it right? RIGHT?

i) They will get *repel* back towards *its* initial direction of approach.
-This option gives you the idea that the question setter has uber grammar phail, but I can't complain because I know my grammar gets more epic by the day.

ii) They will knock out the electrons from the lowest shell and as a result, x-rays *is* being produced.
- At least you know that the same question setter bothered to finish the question. Wait, was he/she the same person who vetted the paper too? VERY unfortunately, I didn't find any logic phail with this option at first sight. Electrons are actually capable of knocking themselves out - being at two places at any one time! Maybe it's because of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle oO

iii) Most of them will pass straight through as there *are* alot of empty *space* in the carbon film.
Uh huh. *WO MING BAI!*

So the options didn't make sense. *Np*, since the examiner decided to be consistent all the way in explaining the correct answer.

Almost impossible to get *repel* back towards *its* initial direction.
Not enough energy to knock out electrons from the lowest shell.
*It* will pass through, but *most of them* will not *pass through straight*. They will get diffracted as the wavelength is about that of the lattice spacing.

WIN

Ok so everyone's grammar is getting lousier by the day, *heng* it's not just mine. I can go on and on about how the *net* butchered the language, or how Singlish done us in for good. I can still imagine myself saying "u imba" thirty years from now too. However, it can never get too worrying, according to many Singaporeans who rightly (yea i tink so 2) believe that Singlish is unique; we ought to be proud of it. No matter what though, don't ever let your speech degrade to this sample MSN conversation-

“hi lol”
“hey ROFLMAOGAG”
“wut up lol”
“u c dakr nite????”
“ya lol”
“rip heath ledgere”
“ya, hez dead, rite?”
“ya, se u on myspace”
“k lol”
“bye rofl”
“k, by, lols”

Pearl

2008-10-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

In a random kingdom, there was a king whose health was ailing. This terrible soul had no end to his worries - he needed a heir urgently but his appearance looked so much like your regular douchebag that he could not get married even if he tried (he did try). Whether he's impotent or not is questionable, but the real matter at hand was simply too pressing. He could not trust any of his ministers/officials/what-have-you-not at all, it seemed as though he was the only honest dude out there paying tax; corruption was uber endemic. Sounds like a country close to home, but never mind.

He decided to come up with an extremely lame way of getting a heir - by organizing a competition. He made an announcement through out the kingdom, calling out to people far and wide all across the land (sounds like pokemon intro). Sure enough, attendance was sky high on that day itself since people turned up in droves. Heck, who doesn't want to be a king?

When the millions or billions settled down, he started his speech: "SUP MA' NIGGAS!" Ok fine he didn't start that way; he began something like this: " My time...is nearly...up..." he coughed, just like when Vader told Luke Skywalker he was his father. Everyone listened attentively with abated breath. "I shall distribute seeds...to every single one of you.." - more coughs. "Whoever has the tallest...tree..within the next nine months... shall ascend to my throne..." Before he even finished his speech, his retarded townsfolk ransacked the carts. He barely made it back to his bed breathing.

Jack (nothing to do with the beanstalk), was a rugged little kid who lived with his grandmother. He nearly got trampled to death by the IQ-deficient horde, but he did get his seed nonetheless. Being the good ol' honest kid he is, he sticked to one as compared to some greedy nutsacks who grabbed a handful. He saw this opportunity as a way out of poverty; he was going to try his utmost best to make a giant beanstalk out of it (pun really intended).

He dug a nice comfy hole for this little seedling, making sure that it gets maximum sunlight, ultra-violet radiation and all. He watered it patiently, anxiously checking on its progress on a daily basis. But all was not well for Jack. The seed he took, apparently, was stubborn as a mule. It refused to bud past day twenty, and it most certainly wasn't going to change into a sapling anytime soon. His worries were compounded when he overheard his neighbours growing eight feet tall trees by now, and he suspected them of h4x (anachronistic, I know). Despite all that bullshit, he stuck to his own routine: watering daily and praying hourly. Jack, a faithful dumbass, insisted on not switching seeds - he was sure that his seed was just LAGGING really bad.

Nine months zipped past in an instant (like always). Jack brought along his pathetic pot to the castle gates, queueing up just like everyone. He was embarassed - everyone else had the most brilliant and beautiful flora ever seen, all obviously thriving through out the summer. The king, still alive but not kicking, shook his head slowly as the peasants presented him with their masterpieces. The king got more depressed as each applicant walked passed him; he was clearly not impressed with the abundant and exotic greenery before him.

Jack succeeded in ignoring the humiliation steeming from everyone's fingers, stares, endless mutterings that reverbrated ever so clearly in his head - it was as if he became Daredevil that instant. He finally got his turn to present his work - nothing. The king cocked an eyebrow, and asked "Where's your plant?" Jack kept his head hung low. He could almost feel the king's penetrating gaze boring a hole through him, but picked up the courage and almost whispered "This is all I have got, I tried my best already."

The crowd around him roared with laughter, like duh. Jack felt his ears redden, knowing that he was going to be the laughing stock of town. Miraculously, the king smiled benignly, and offered Jack his crown. Jack could almost hear the "WTFBBQMARSHMELLOWS!" that was mouthed out by everyone; even he himself was so amazed that he felt as if he was floating.

A week later, when the king was on his death bed, minutes away from leaving this material plane, Jack stood by his bedside and asked him why was he awarded the throne when he had nothing. The king managed a chuckle, and said "I didn't hand out any seeds to begin with."

Gambling's never THAT addictive; succeeding is.

RARA

2008-10-08T05:58:00.001-07:00

A damn long time ago, there was this little mouse who lived in an oak tree (oak because "tree" alone sounded dumb). You can try imagining a hamster or a guinea pig for that matter; I've never seen mice before except on TV. Ok so one day, the mouse got bored of nibbling stuff. It had epiphany after nibbling on some wrong stuff; it simply had to know how to become stronger in order to face his arch-nemesis : the cat. Now don't get too GP, it doesn't matter one bit what strong really means because I don't know either.

So it started his journey and asked the cat, whom, by the way, was nice on that day, the million dollar question: "What makes you so strong?" The cat didn't hesitate one bit and said " No way in hell am I the strongest, you ought to ask the dog that instead. I run away for inexplicable reasons the moment he barks!"

The mouse felt an overwhelming sense of relief; there was something that could actually scare his bully ! And so it went on and seeked out the dog, and posed the same question. The dog wagged his silly tail abit, before replying "I don't know why either but you definitely asked the wrong guy, you ought to ask the wind instead. There was once I tried chasing the cat, the wind intervened and blew him miles away! I could have tried chasing but that's when I got distracted by a bone, so..."

The mouse never felt more thrilled in his life! He spent the next half a year trying to seek out THE wind, and obviously took really long since, well, it's THE wind. When he finally chanced upon the wind, he tried asking the same question. " That ain't a tough one," was his reply. "The farking oak tree down yonder won't budge at all no matter hard I try!"

The mouse was really, really exhausted by now, but heck, the tree wasn't going anywhere anyway so he didn't mind seeking enlightenment back home. The tree, huffed, swayed, and nearly died from staying too still for too long, but it did answer slowly (like slowly) : " Like duh, it's you. I'm going to die in like, weeks, because you nibbled all my damn roots away. And the bark too, you ass"

The mouse became so wise that it grew another whisker, although that didn't stop the cat from chasing him. Damn.

Size doesn't matter - nothing really, really does neither.

Nay

2008-09-13T08:32:00.001-07:00

Yes I epic-failed miserably. Once a week is impossible unless I'm a caveman. On Monday and Tuesday, however, I succeeded in STAYING AWAY for >6 hours in a row. For some inexplicable reason, I can sense my POWERS RETURNING (with respect to mugging) after two long years. While I'm no Superman, my computer's more lethal than Kryptonite anyday.

......

I went back for a visit, and my doctor told me kindly that my eyes getting more and more fucked up by the visit (luckily the trend began only the last visit). I had difficulty in not lol-ing because I only ate 1 Azathioprine tablet daily instead of the required 2 for the past 8 months. It's surprisingly easy to tell someone to STICK WITH IT, but I honestly can't remember when was the last time I actually need not eat an extra 30 mg of synthetic stuff every breakfast. I can't even begin to imagine what is it like for kidney failure patients to undergo dialysis treatment on a daily basis. That's one more reason to get off my Azathioprines.

This visit was funnier than the rest, because the clinic actually had lots of their staff changed. Consequently, I met lots of newbs (not n00bs). The nurse who did the visual analysis with me didn't know how to record down the scores properly, and worse still, wasn't exactly sure of which button to flick to make the slide rotate. In case any of you are puzzled, visual analysis is the incredibly fun eye sight test where the projector reveals rows and rows of alphabets/numerals that shrinks exponentially. I score pretty badly ALL THE TIME, and I honestly doubt it's to do with my eyesight than the incredibly tiny font size.

Those in charge of doing the blood tests were TOTAL NEWBS. They actually bothered to tell me that "you will experience a tight sensation" when they tied the band around my arm, "you will get the cool feeling because of the alcohol swap", but the classic has to be "you can close your eyes if you want to!" when the needle went in. I tried my best to not ROFLMAOGAG, or the needle would have been into a dozen places instead of just one =) I was concentrating so hard on not laughing that I didn't wonder they took 3 x 50 ml of blood instead of the usual 2 tubes --> NEWBS! Being nice is a virtue - I ought to write in a letter someday when I needn't ever step back in there again.

.........

And it's 45 days and counting. I didn't do the actual counting, I saw someone else's blog. All I can think of now is - C U AT LAN!!!!!!!11111111

Take one step at a time, there's no need to rush; it's like learning to fly, or falling in love

Do

2008-09-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just came back from my cousin's wedding, and saw something really disturbing. They actually featured photos back from the days when both were babies to their school life etc etc. And then I realised that since I don't cam alot, my "preview" might involve a leap from baby straight to ADULTHOOD (provided I get married).

....

There's this queer thing about me; I actually believe in providence in times of desperation. For instance, I'll start praying fervently whenever I lose an item of importance (glasses, thumbdrive) and even "swear" that I'll be more careful in the future to not lose it SHOULD (He/She/It) decides to "help" me find it. For some inexplicable reason, I actually locate these items within 5 minutes of "prayer" 99.99% of the time. That being said, I am a believer - not in fate or destiny or what's written by those in the sky, but simply in inevitability.

Meaning if I did do my homework, truckloads of it, and having no doubts about what I am supposed to know and what I actually do know, I will certainly ace it. Nobody likes uncertainty. It generates unnecessary adrenaline, and your mind gives you a very detailed analysis of what actually won't happen. The only way to eliminate uncertainty is to make things predictable, and that, is what everyone is going to attempt at.

2 years ago on the day I received my results, I actually started worrying on the bus ride back to school because I believed that there was a chance I couldn't get my 6. I started recalling how I BNET-ed during O levels, watched wcg replays of my favourite game, and actually went for LAN right AFTER my practical paper. Simply put it - that wasn't 100% effort on my part. I knew the consequences while bnetting, but I just couldn't be bothered. And then I started panicking right before receiving the slip, again "swearing" that if I do actually get a 6, I will never ever make things come this close again. I did get my 6.

There's only 8 weeks left. Bnet's not the problem, I'm actually tempted to finish my FF9 because I'm on to Disc 3. Wait, that isn't THE problem either. The problem is, just how many times need history repeat itself? None, because I alone can shape fate just as it shapes me.

I WILL ONLY USE THE COMP ONCE PER WEEK FROM NOW ON TILL THE LAST PAPER K THX.

Fuck, I lost my thumbdrive again zzz

12

2008-08-21T04:22:00.000-07:00

It doesn't help one bit when you happened to dream about a gunman chasing you down the previous night. I wasn't even entirely sure that it was a dream initially; my mind seemed so fresh from Red Bull and the likes upon "awakening".

Econs wasn't really worth mentioning, because nothing exciting popped up. The most dreaded situation of choosing three out of two didn't really happen; there was 4 really nice ones to begin with.

I went home coincedentally with Tse Mei but decided against saying anything because she had two other friends accompanying her. If I had to say something, it would be "FUCK CHEM" right away. Now ain't I nice for choosing to shut up?

I don't really like chem, but that isn't saying anything because I don't like just about everything related to school. Today's paper 3 felt so familiar - I'm actually watching Discovery Channel! I never really forgotten the slogan it once championed : learning something new everyday. To put it simply, I don't really know if I do know what I should really know.

It feels like expansion packs, one after another. Anybody who plays any game will get thrilled at the prospect of any upcoming one: new units, abilities, add-ons that simply mesmerizes you totally with lots of WOW factors. Except for chem, I just feel like uninstalling the whole lot of them right away. But quitting makes me feel 10x more nub than if I still have SO MANY DAYS to try.

I never did countdowns. I don't actually know how many days are there really left. But I WILL w t f p w n chem by then.

Less QQ, more pewpew.

TADA!

2008-07-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

Because someone wanted to read rubbish, I decided to conjure some up. Heck, I'm don't even need to try that hard.

In this picture, you'll get to see that I'm obviously (fill in the blank) while there are LOTS of people out there who prefer that I cough up the necessary change. I get Paramount Pictures, Time Warner Telecom, Universal Studios, MediaSentry and the whole lot on that traffic list all the time. To prevent paranoia from being induced a dozen times over, I choose to not watch the list grow twelve feet long by the minute. Yes, there was once the list got chocked full within 5 seconds ._.

The interesting part lies in two entries that are logged there - one that refers to the "ministry" of of some Baltic country, the other referring to some military institutition (NAVY FYI). I hereby swear that I'm not a hacker; I know as much about hacking as I do about good/fashionable/appealing/what-have-you-not clothing. Am I a threat to national security? Of course not. Then why are these big guns in suits checking me up?

They aren't. At least they aren't the ones doing so. Somehow, I got this gut feeling that some geeks behind the computer (I'm not one of them k thx) who knows alot about zeros and ones are the real perpetrators behind it. They're so brilliant at this puppetry that only one who has been treading in equally deep waters can hope to find out where they are. If you believe that seeing is believing in this frontier you probably believe in Santa Claus.

I can't thank enough the hero(es) ( I shan't insult them with geek) who happen to be equally savvy in this field.

On a side note, luckily I didn't teach my father how to be a pirate, eye-patch/wooden leg and all.The last time I checked, his computer didn't have Universial Studios probing around.

Wry

2008-06-26T04:01:00.000-07:00

Sorethroat struck first but it wasn't something unforeseen. Sometimes you just get too lazy to drink water, and then it decides to creep up from behind. I couldn't sleep the whole night because breathing properly became impossible.

Upon pulling myself to school the next day, I walked around like a zombie, discovering to my horror that I couldn't speak up thanks to the sorethroat. I decided to take care of myself by sleeping immediately upon reaching home instead of doing ANYTHING.

But the most important part came at night when my mum actually took leave upon knowing I fell sick. I actually yelled "GAY SHIT" in my mind because that means a full day of playing...gone.

I recovered really fast thanks to her blended orange juice and what not. She was the one who wrapped towels around my head to cool the fever off too. And then she didn't get bored of refilling my water bottle.

I was back the next day still being half-dead but at least not d e a d like on Tuesday.

Life likes to kick me in the balls time to time.

Thanks.

Castle

2008-06-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hope is the very first step on the road to disappointment. NO I'M NOT GETTING EMO. I happened to download Dawn of War that had this unit named the Librarian who goes about saying that pwnage sentence over and over again.

It is frighteningly true. There can be nothing worse than being in mired in despondency; one who despairs is already at the precipice of sanity. The concept of hope is grounded in postivity, which paradoxically can only exist under negativity. Taking the tale of Pandora's Box to be true, then perhaps we're better off than if her curiosity wasn't inherent.

I watched a couple of freak shows today while at Yixin's house to celebrate birthdays (including mine which takes place tomorrow). Saw 3 was the only striking one. Jigsaw throws *unappreciative* people into damning situations in order to change their lives. While it's not his say as to how others should live their lives, where would we be without recovering from a downturn?

Have we lived a life if it was as flat as being dead? Just how much inaction on one's part can be quantified to be someone who "has no life"? Herein lies the catch - haven't we all wished for a better life?

Hope and wish have been used so interchangeably that their meanings have been diluted. The *subtlety' involved is ignored too often, but I'm not one to clarify the distinction.

Wishes are plentiful these days, hope in less abundance. Thankfully I'm starting to hope - not exactly for a complete change from my compulsive habit - because there's simply nothing better to do at the moment. I hope the next year will be different from the previous one as always.

I wish it will be a better one as *always*.

Here's why my wishes don't usually get granted:

JUST KIDDING. I wish for more significant things than that =D

Sanguine

2008-06-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

This is one of the better June breaks as far as I can recall. One of the reason is because I've did more work than I could possibly imagine within the first half of the holidays - an unprecedented feat considering the source of my motivation - my mum being at home. If she's at home --> I can't play --> might as well do some work.

Went out to Raffles Quay for dinner with some classmates last Friday to break the boredom of staying at home. We TRIED to take a photo with the Merlion but no one's phone camera could given its extreme coolness. Kidding, duh. It was only because the spotlights underneath it shone so brightly you could do a Batman movie with the bat symbol over it. We then spent the next hour or so walking around the Esplanade, browsing through the souvenir shops which had amusing fridge magnets. We played cards for the next hour or so and called it a day. It is a nice outing - don't take my dull description seriously.

Wednesday was a rush. I had to go for NS medical checkup in the morning to get myself graded for enlistment. I knew where I stood anyway but there was a compulsory vocational test that begged me for effort to be invested so that the army will have an easier time "allocating resources". I'm going to try to recall as much about the test as I can here:
Section 1: Understanding the relation between words. E.g workshop:carpenter is given, and then you'll have to select the correct choice that has a similar relation, i.e. clinic:doctor. THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT SECTION. At least only for the last 5 questions. I really couldn't find a matching answer for spoon:fork, so I picked something along the lines of milk:spoon, which actually seemed the most logical to me. I just pray that I don't get labelled "retarded" and be assigned a toilet cleaning job after this.
Section 2: Maths. Piece of cake. Consists mostly of primary school stuff, although I couldn't do one of the problem sums involving money debts (something in P6). The advanced questions go on to polynomial divisions, while the hardest one without doubt has to be differentiation. Which was easy anyway.
Section 3: Visualisation. I TOTALLY DIDN'T GET THE INSTRUCTIONS. A pattern is provided with a tilted picture. You're supposed to imagine what happens to the pattern when the picture is tilted to a certain degree. Well I only got it after the entire test is over. 0 marks here. GG
Section 4: Following instructions never seemed harder. They blew my mind away with mentally exhausting, yet painfully simple tasks. One question would be like -" find the number next to the word with the least number of alphabets. If it's the smallest, type ...." Yes. They aim to drive all the mentally "inept" people into Woodbridge so that they can "allocate resources" "efficiently" in the future.
Section 5: PHYSICS. They provide diagrams and ask you stuff like which bridge is sturdier, which door is more robust, which pulley is more/equally effective. While I'm sure that I got all the hydraulics one correct, I'm pretty sure I random-ed all my other options. It's so difficult it's not even funny, because I had to laugh at my lack of common sense through out the test. I actually wondered if circular motion applies to pulleys. (. . .)
Section 6: Funniest of them all. Numbers 1-9 are arranged in 3x3 box. When the box is highlighted, hit the corresponding number on the keyboard thrice in succession, with the aim of completing it ASAP. I couldn't finish this twisted version of whack-a-mole because the SAF believes in ninja reflexes pathetic beings like me can't possibly possess. How are you supposed to even press the button thrice when the highlight lasts only 0.1s? Fortunately I can't be the worst candidate for this test - someone I know tried CLICKING on the monitor and was wondering why he was faster than the system. Real neat.
Section 7: The test that convinced me that the army hasn't "allocated resources" "efficiently". This test truly differetiates the stupid from the smart (asses). The task here is frighteningly simple: a series of digits (starting from 3, ends with 8 or 9) will be flashed on the screen, and then another screen full of gibberish text will replace it, after which you have to recall what the original sequence of digits is. This test is F***ING STUPID because they gave you a piece of paper and pencil before hand to work out the P6 maths. All I did was click "next" and scribbled down whatever was flashed, wait for the gibberish screen to pass, and poof, scored full marks. Ok fine maybe it is a test of integrity of all (then I'll fail miserably). I do have to give props to whoever set the gibberish text - I tried my best not to ROFLMFAOLOL at whatever was screened. They used phrases such as "GET OUTTTTTTTT", "HELP ME", "GGGGGGGGGG", "SHUT UP", "LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL" spammed across half the screen to get you distracted.
**I finished the 2hr test in 45 minutes. (actually completed all the 35x5 questions). This is NOT an achievement, because many others I know actually got too bored and left halfway. I actually witnessed one person falling asleep ten minutes into the test. So much for vocational testing.

I left CMPB in a hurry to rush to Suntec for the InterJc- finals that we were sent to get gutted. We were only notified two nights before the event took place, so no training whatsoever took place. Watched nice games and played bad ones, but it was really fun because it was FREE LAN. And FREE PRIZES too. I wouldn't know if the team we replaced wanted the prizes - they're only worth something in the pernicious world of Maplestory.

And here it is today, Friday, second week of the holidays coming to an end. I just know the second half will get better. Because I seriously hope this is the best June holidays I ever had, as it is also the last real break before the gay levels.

Propriety

2008-05-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

Tests are over.
~
I happened to be late for school a couple of times this year. Like any institution that calls itself as one, it metes similar punishment to everyone regardless of the 'valid' reasons they might have. Its aim, albeit not a noble one, is to instill the virtue of punctuality in each and every one of us. Obviously it has a pragmatic purpose - if you can't be punctual for school, you can't be punctual for work and then you're screwed.
I always thought I had valid reasons for being late, with one case being the exception where I continued sleeping after the alarm rang and woke up an hour earlier. The other times I actually came late were because I couldn't board the bus at all, or rather I couldn't be bothered to. The buses that came looked so jam packed that only four to five more could attempt to board, with dozens other queueing up behind.
By the time I reached school I had to hide in some unobtrusive corner until classes began. On one occasion, however, I tried walking by the main gate and was stopped together with thirty others by the guard who requested that we write our names down. Being the last one in line, I pretended to write something down when the guard was looking elsewhere and left quickly soon after.
Fortunately, I didn't feel guilty at all about cheating the system, the reason being me disagreeing with the punishments itself. Detention is especially painful because it's a waste of time for someone who has already wasted loads of it, but it doesn't ring a bell because it doesn't make much sense.
Being intelligent in creative ways, human beings have become selective and flexible in what morales they should strive to have. Ironman illustrates this fact clearly when initially he did not see the crimes he had committed indirectly through selling weapons. By the way, I'm just advertising for that nice movie =D
My dad believes that I'm en route to trouble because cheating is pernicious in nature; I'll only be emboldened to accomplish similar acts under riskier situations. However, this is simply because I told him I wrote someone's else name down instead of my own. I thought this would be a more sensational story after having heard it myself from someone else. Honestly speaking I did have the intention to try that out the next time I have to walk through the main gate again. I guess I have changed my mind now.
Chronic latecoming is an endemic problem that has no simple solutions. That's because changing one's mindset isn't that easy.

Vicissitude

2008-05-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

No idea which part of Jan was it when the idea kicked in, but it was probably within the first week. Ch said he didn't want to join because he wanted to mug which was a 'valiant' attempt - he went back to sourcing in the end. We had to look for a replacement which came in the form of Jiaming.
The story in between till now is irrelevant. By Gamesex finals I already saw everything. At the njcg semi's they hadn't changed one bit.
The finals was one 'good' game. Good because we tried our best (can't do anything against broken bb), bad because the number of retards present have grown nearly two-fold. In the end, I still got to thank a few people:
Ivan - for carrying and farming like a China farmer (I'm not discriminating China) for all the games, and being capable of playing all the carry stuff I thought we might end up using.
Mingwei - for being 'kingler' so many times with his H3 in condemned physics together with the countless times he was oppressed by his older brother. I actually wanted to thank him for being uber obedient in all the games so far and playing the best SF I've ever seen. (tb luna not included because he's cui with those =D JUST JOKING)
Shem - for being the most aggressive bastard who can't resist not stunning anyone by level 1. Best sandking and tiny (jugg not mentioned because he only picks that when I'm on the opposite team -.-')
Jiaming - for fixing his computer by the end of March holidays and being ultra good support. Most memorable match was when we fought the China team (really, I don't hate China) and he warded the nc spots in order for us to eat luna up. Nevermind that he and Shem screwed up at the start
Henry - for turning up on every single match and buying nice food for us on each occasion; he was like the seventh member of our team. He monitors our progress and provides his input at every given opportunity, while offering his unwavering support like amazing friends do (not being a kingler). But he wasn't being a maphack, so I can't see why one retard bothered to try to silence him.
Cihui - for being so "fulking" "no impolite" when he carried while I was feeding with the feeder dragon =D
Chee Wee, Soon Kiat, Xian Yong, the AJ people, and the China team (see, I really don't hate China) - for standing behind us the whole time.
I'm proud that I succeeded in keeping this team together despite both Shem and Mingwei wanting to 'kingler' me from Jan to March. In case you don't know, 'kingler' comes from the fact that Mingwei is KING at abandoning people =D
My prediction for the drafts came true. I just didn't know my (our) plan will fail right from the start. But then that was the one of the best game of DOTA that I've ever played, and it was being played with the team that nearly never was - FREEEEEEE FRAGGGGGGGGSSS FTW

yawn

2008-05-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

One more week.
Not to the common tests, I'm not interested in that.
It's to the end.
Not really the end if we win -.-
I actually took 20 minutes to come up with the above oO
And it doesn't even rhyme one bit...
DIE LA I'M BECOMING LIKE SOMEONE WHO THINKS SHE ROCKS WHEN SHE ONLY STONES (i.e meigui)
I MIGHT come up with something more interesting in a few day's time ><
*goes back to sleep*

Tail

2008-04-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

It took quite some time before the results of PW actually sank in. There wasn't much of a need to reflect on the work I put in - I stayed up longer into the night for gaming than I ever did for the stupid subject. I never had troublesome teammates, unless you count the supervising tutor that condemned us to fail since last year April. Nonetheless the implications are frighteningly non-existent. either because I got an A or it didn't mean anything in the first place.
Whenever anything has come to an end, deep down inside we all know it hasn't. For example, after my PSLE I really thought I could play all day for the rest of my life until Sec 1 kicked me in the nuts for being second last in class.
The process is supposed to be more interesting; nobody ever takes more than a glance at the fullstop after a sentence. I can honestly attest to that, simply because my memory is horrendously not selective when it comes to mundane events in the past as compared to the block of text residing in notes which I must remember now.
If it was anything about PW that I can remember, it was me describing the composition of our Written Report as well as the preparation for the Oral Presentation to be nothing short of an "extreme makeover". Not because I have watched the show (not once), but because these two words alone sums it all up.
My understanding of how memory works is overly simplistic. Everything that we have experienced has always been there, residing in some unknown section of our brain. In order to recall that piece of information, a key word or feeling is attached to it for convenience. Thats how I remember stuff for exams anyway. You don't throw out all of your system files onto your desktop; there are folders for a reason. And remembering what happened earlier than two years old is rather impossible unless you've been abused terribly bad, so be thankful for the way it is now.
I can think of a really perfect paragraph to describe my secondary school life, but I'll be too shy to say it. I can attach "..." to my past five birthdays or so because it has been that way and pretty much the same for all of them. "SON OF A -----" has been stickied onto certain people. But being fortunate, I never knew how to describe how my whole life has been so far.
"The end draws near" is what this unit called the "warden" in my game always say as a response whenever you move her around. With my attention glued to a billion other details happening on screen, I never had the time to consider these words in entirety. Her aim is to bring a fugitive back to his cell, but upon doing so, it simply implies that the reason for her existence no longer exists. I never took the story seriously, so don't shoot me for being beyond an addict.
For all the things in life we ever knew them to be, we are very, very selective in the way we want them to turn out to be. More often than not, life *clowns* back at us in the face by showing us just how little control we actually have. This is not to say that we should hate it and say "gg I'm out", but instead hope for the best with trying, knowing that at least you can't lose. I panicked a week before NAPFA because I know I can't jump. That will be the deciding section to see if I'll have to enter the army 2 months earlier (only sickos want to). 220cm seems really far because that's more than two-thirds the mat - if you've seen the 3m long mat you'll be freaked out too. At the third try (when only two was allowed), I swung my hands like a monkey and actually went ONE CENTIMETRE beyond the 220 mark. I did a 221! To be honest, there's nothing miraculous about the above, sorry.
There hasn't been so much of an end as there was a start for anything. Authors demarcate chapters for cataloging purposes; man designate segments of time to be millenniums and centuries for reference; God (which I haven't believed in yet) spins the Earth daily so that we'll get our lazy selves off the bed when the sun shines over our ass. In reality everything flows endlessly,being independant of whether we're there to make it happen. But because we aren't fictional sentient beings, we'll never be the wiser to the obvious, and we'll never be able to marvel at truly grand things.
Continuity correction aside, it's so much better if we simply stop to reflect consciously, and not during self assigned checkpoints. This way we won't lose sight of what's really happening around us.
Whenever anything has come to an end, deep down inside we all hope it hasn't - and that's what makes it all the more beautiful to begin with - because it only lasts this long.

Glass

2008-04-14T04:41:00.000-07:00

Someone told me two weeks ago that I had "chiobus" in my class, namely X1 and X2. He then commented on what a nice class I have, presumably because of that. To be specific, I had to ask "HUH WHO'S THE CHIOBU" when he mentioned them, not because the girls in my class are unsightly, but because I'm freaking curious. First up, I didn't agree with whatever he said but of course being a 'gentleman' I didn't mouth it all out - I didn't find those two that he mentioned to be "chiobus". And second, they're already taken up, so there's not much point in trying to agree with what he said.
The first time I heard the term "chiobu" was back in P6. I thought they're talking about "chou" (ugly in chinese) girls so I couldn't join in half the conversations. Thankfully I don't live under a rock. I figured out what it means 'intuitively' but never actually applied it extensively to girls in reality. The times when I use this term would be those like a really good shot being made in any sports game and I go "WAH CHIO LA". (I don't really like being a spectator)
As a rule of thumb, it is my innocent belief that marrying someone who happens to be chio is a plus, but marrying someone because she's chio has serious implications: it's best that you mentally prepare your divorce papers at any rate.
'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder' sounds too butterfly-rainbowish for dimwits like me to chew on, but I probably got it all figured out using all the time I spent stoning my existence away. Here's a really good example: I went to my friend's birthday party once when another classmate of mine brought along his PS3. The moment my eyes laid itself upon it, I couldn't stop stroking it and kept murmuring "sexy nia...". Everyone there had a good laugh. Truth is, I really couldn't pull my hands off its sleak surface and am completely mesmerised by it. However, I can swear I'm mentally sane because I'm capable of typing this sentence (i.e insane people would try 'I'M NORMAL OK'). I'm also not a gadget fanatic, as proven by my oh-so-durable handphone that's worthy of being exhibited in any museum (five year old model, anyone?). I do find a PS3 fascinating, but like any infatuation, it was only temporary. Which was to my relief since I didn't have to fork out $1000 to get myself excited.
Scientifically speaking, it could be possibly due to certain chemical signals in my brain that simply zapped the wrong way at the wrong time, resulting in a mental state that's beyond meditation. That's what any Romeo would call "love at first sight", any pervert as one hot chick, and any neurologist as a biological marvel to go wow at.
It might be 'worrying' to some that their relationship was composed based on pure chemistry and not magic as they would like to have believed. On the other hand, Amortentia in the Harry Potter series exists only in, well, the Harry Potter series. What would happen if you try drowning dung beetles in that? Would they really smell fragrant and delicious poo?
Animals have come a pretty long way in evolution in terms of finding their perfect mates, but I am honestly clueless as to how the connection works. Having watched countless episodes of Animal Planet where elephants get horny, I can't distinguish one from another. (pointless paragraph)
Someone kept lol-ing at me for being close to someone who's 'fugly' to him. I couldn't blame him, because he couldn't ever see it from my eyes. I just happen to find this particular someone very... undescribable. Dang. I must have threw my vocab out of the window. Or maybe there just aren't any that I can use.
At least I needn't prep my divorce papers specially for the abovementioned cause.

A rainbow's beautiful not because it's monochromatic.

Up

2008-04-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

I emailed my doctor regarding my eye condition, and he gave a reply stating that I'm likely to be posted to a non-combat vocation. It sounds anything but bad to me. (HEHE)
~~
Today (was) a crucial match for the guys' squash team. We already lost to ACSI, and we had to win ACJC if we're to stand any chance of going into the top four. I had a premonition but I kept it to myself mostly other than my fellow referee.
The captain called for lots of support, and even made an arrangement to swap courts so as to accomodate the supporters. He hoped, unfortunately in vain, that it was going to have a positive effect. It didn't, or perhaps there wasn't any. On hindsight, the players might have performed better if there weren't any support to begin with, with the pressure being less overbearing. But again, on hindsight even Einstein might have been dropped into a Woodbridge equivalent before he became a genius, so there's no point looking back (now).
Strange enough, I didn't feel one bit sad when 5-0 was incoming, not even till now. It must have been a habit of mine to drop attachment really quick when I can't get any (in)tangible benefits. Or maybe because I'm dead tired and sleepy just by thinking of the right picks for tomorrow's games. Either way, I'm more interested in the process of the entire match.
Being fierce is motivational to oneself, is aesthetic to the spectators; but most importantly, is unnerving to your enemies.

Optique

2008-03-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not very knowledgeable about the options I have in the NS (National Service), except for SISPECT (something to do with specialists), OCS and being a clerk. By default, most of the people would end up being in SISPECT, with the better ones going on to OCS. You can’t even opt to be a clerk, unless you have a medical condition that doesn’t enable you to carry out your duties (I might fall under this category).
My brother asked me during dinner if I would like to join OCS. I made up my mind long ago already on this issue: no, I’m just not interested. That’s when he proceeded with his screwed up logic of why I should go OCS, because of the respect, the pay, the position, the exposure. He went on to challenge me by giving him my reasons on ‘why not’. Apparently my ‘not interested’ argument failed miserably. He’ll go on asking “ Don’t you want more respect and better pay?”, like I said before, he has pretty screwed up logic. The worse part which came inevitably wasn’t entirely unexpected – my father had to chip in his input.
He went from what the purpose of NS is (on topic) to Malaysia’s sultans (‘on’ topic still) within fifteen minutes. I got to hand it to him, I’m not capable of rambling on for that long if I know the person who I’m talking to just can’t be bothered to listen. Thankfully, I managed to catch the main point of contention: everyone should serve to the best of his capability, and it’s not an issue of whether they like it or not. He pointed out that (some important person) criticized lawyers in the past who failed tests intentionally so that they would only go through two years of training instead of three for officers. The argument is as follows: since they're more capable, they shouldn't be so selfish and should instead continue to serve the nation.
I didn’t say anything at all ; I didn’t need to. They conveniently forgot that they’re in OCS, not someone who’s NOT INTERESTED in NS at all. I don’t want to control people, I never got a kick out of being higher ranked than others, but I wouldn’t mind the higher pay. In my opinion, such positions should be left to those who are REALLY passionate about it, because they would be the ones who would flex the most muscle out of it. You can't fit a square into a circle; it's pointless to do so.
History was repeating itself. My brothers felt that they’re “superior” beings all because they were the heads of their uniformed groups back in secondary schools, where as I was merely just in charge of the Secondary Ones, which in my opinion was a very sought after position already. This morning they asked if I got put in any effort in squash upon finding out that I didn’t make it into the team (something I chose not to say for precisely this reason). My interested waned out drastically for personal reasons which I hadn’t shared with anyone yet.
Understanding is underrated more often than not, self-assuming beliefs happen to be the reverse. I refused to explain myself – none of those narrow-minded people would ever get it. I am going to serve the nation by going for NS, but I can’t be bothered (tentatively) to try to make it to OCS.
Putting yourself in other's shoes is that difficult. It's nothing to do with the size.

Army: We are the unfortunate, led by the unqualified, doing the unnecessary, for the ungrateful.

Eagle

2008-03-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I decided to flip through my old DVDs (not my physics notes) and picked "Enemy Of The State". It is an action-packed movie featuring Will Smith who had to run from the NSA because he was holding on to tape recording of a murder by accident. The agency was able to track him down using satellite images and tracing phone calls.
In one scene, Gene Hackman mentioned how agencies were keeping tabs on phone calls, and be capable of filtering out keywords from conversations, such as "bomb" or "Allah". This is in effect, one of the most potent weapons the government has to combat terrorism, both domestic and foreign. By enabling the Patriot Act after 9/11, law enforcement agencies were given the abovementioned capability, which includes emails too.
This is a very sensitive issue indeed. Privacy used to be a right, and keeping secrets is soon losing that status too. People are worried, unnecessarily or not, about what the government can actually do with the information they are receiving. That's when you'll have conspiracy theories sprouting junk like the government wanting more control of the population, just like how they "encroached" on people's liberties by enforcing gun control. A climate of paranoia was omnipresent for those who understood what was entailed.
Their baking recipes stored in emails are going to be seized, and then exploited by a retired agent living on pension to make big bucks. Men in suits might get turned on for free by the sexually suggestive messages people are sending to their lovers via mobile phones. Organizations known by only three letters would be fully aware of everyone's travel plans to whichever exotic country and by what means. They are so all-knowing, they even know what kind of pathetic grades lazy kids score for their exams.
~~
If it is anything, it would be terribly boring to sit down and leave a headphone on for hours in a row, and stare at a computer screen to check out who's having cybersex, who's the biggest hit on Facebook and what not. The poor geeks have to sift through heaps of rubbish daily, which is both an eye sore and an horrific assault on their ear drums, in hopes of detecting potential threats. They have to remain tight lipped about their occupation to family members and friends, all in the name of national security. In the local context, it is factually proven to be effective. Some racist blogger was fined under the Sedition Act. A blog that I used to frequent alot for tremendous entertainment value became stale, and people who commented were suspicious that the blogger was told off by the *relevant* authorities because he was insulting the government outright. He was probably invited down to have a good cup of coffee *somewhere*.
Freedom of speech can be defined easily but only so by sensible and open minds. I'm not speaking out against it not because I'm their posterboy for surveillance, neither is it due to me being cowed in fear.
Because of the nature and content of this entry, I might have attracted readers I'm not acquainted with. Or maybe they were already here entries before. And because of that, they're capable of finding out who has tagged (very simple process), and they're also able to find out who's been reading my blog, who might be potentially subverted by the toxic in my posts, if any.
That's you.
20 8 5 25 / 1 18 5 / 23 1 20 3 8 9 14 7.

Angle

2008-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

My father just came up to me and told me the same old things everytime I'm on to the computer too much. It's hardly surprising considering the fact that I've been on from 9am to 6pm for the past 3 days, and he just happened to not have any work this whole March holidays.
I could usually summarize what his speech to a tenth of the time he took to deliver it, but one point caught my interest. He went on from me playing to the pair of shoes I'm wearing to school. It's a standard issue provided by SAF, which all guys will get to wear during PT. Mine's unique though. The sole is so darn sexy smooth with zero grooves to hold on to anything, and it looked as though it went through the shredder. So my dad said something about how we must present ourselves appropriately, although we needn't conform to everything. It's funny how much he drifts isn't it? That's why I usually zone off within five SECONDS of his diatribe (NOT THE POINT).
Biological diversity is and will always be a celebrated phenomenon by ecologists. The more species of birds present the better, and best if the dodo came back. Cultural/religious/ethnic diversity is more of a point of contention - not everyone will ever like each other, but it's there to stay. What truly polarises us would be individualism. There's the norm, and theres the wacky bunch who we can only label with the word "weird". If I'm didn't recall wrongly, Charles Darwin once commented that the normal distribution of any characteristic would be a bell curve, with the maximum being in the middle and minimum being at the ends. This simply means that there will be the same percentage of people getting 4 A's annually, the same proportion who are born with that blasphemous genetic defect and the same lot of unfortunate few who would suffer from poor IQ. All this being said, this implies that there would always be some who, well, deviate from normal behaviour.
We're most certainly clueless about ourselves. In the Middle ages, kleptomaniacs were probably executed alongside thieves and autistic kids would then be conveniently called retards.
I've heard too often (like you do) about one commenting on another's eccentricity. It is so interesting, because you don't get to observe it everyday and it's simply not within your self-defined parameters of the acceptable. This spells bad news for the truly tragic ones - those with behavioural problems that we do not comprehend.
I saw the list of students my class had to take for CIP at Clementi Town primary. Next to their names were remarks such as "Behavioural Problems", "Weak", "Very Weak" and so on. They are condemned already, so to speak. It is part and parcel of the grading society uses, but it is irrelevant to them. Their immediate need, is to be understood, not labelled. Then we'll ask the favourite question: Why? Circumstantial causes? Genetic makeup? Or just... weird?
I find it remarkably funny that my PAE class called me "emo" instead of my name, as I didn't talk much to them - I didn't want to. I can't blame them nor hate them for something they don't understand. And then there's my CCA in which I'm gradually transforming into just another fixture. Maybe we just don't click one bit.
I must be a really weird person, considering the fact that I belong to the minority that is constantly mesmerised by my computer game. I like playing it so much I wish had a laptop to do so in school. You don't need to be a detective to figure out that I'm an addict, but what gives. I also have a huge propensity to laugh at everything around me, ranging from dirty ones to religious/racial and personal ones. I'm mean in that sense, but I can't help it. Well you get the idea of how (not very) queer I am.
Eh you're seriously damn weird leh.
o[^-(-.-)-^]o
..

Grasp

2008-03-08T07:51:00.000-08:00

One queer thing that I can recall when I was 8 was this conversation I had with my uncle. He told me that all the medicines that were prescribed to us contained drugs. I was revolted at that notion, because drugs were associated to something evil in my mind.
One definition of what a drug is as follows: "chemical substances prepared and sold as pharmaceutical items, either by prescription or over the counter." Being clueless, I protested back to my uncle "nooo it can't be! why would doctors wanna poison us?" over and over again, unconvinced that medicines contain drugs still. I ought to congratulate Singapore's efforts to combat drug abuse for that.
Our understanding of the world around us is premature. This is so, and will remain to be so forever. A person is recognized to be knowledgeable because he knows not only what others know that they don't know, but also what others don't know what they don't know. There's nothing amazing about knowing what others hope to know, even if they do not do so in due time. Phew.

Qualm(s)

2008-02-28T01:27:00.000-08:00

I'm VERY immune to this question : "What does your conscience tell you?"
It's so for many reasons. One would barely respond cognitively to this question MOST of the time because they're anticipating what's going to be thrown at them next. Also, your conscience wouldn't just tell you the answer because you want to know it; it is there all along but you're looking somewhere else. Also, what the heck is your conscience, really?
Religious followers (count me out) would often tell you inspiring moments in their life where God answers their queries in a similiar fashion to that of dialling a helpline at MOE/any hospital, just that the concept of working hours are not applicable. So long as you're able to achieve inner peace and listen with your heart (I'm guessing this is how it works), He will tell you the answer nicely. Great. At least they don't ever bump into answering machines.
"Press 1, if you've committed a crime and you're figuring out how to redeem yourself. Press 2, if you're in a dilemma over which friend to side. Press 3, if you're TRULY wondering if you're hurting someone through your actions. And finally, you can hang up if you wish to pay a visit to a church nearest to you to obtain help from a priest who's more than capable than I am when it comes to accounting for the social/moral/emotional debt you've incurred upon sinning." EEEW. Alternatively, one with all the right values/beliefs and a good moral character would be enlightened in a similiar manner. He would then flip open this mental textbook to which references can be made regarding the MORALLY, not logically, correct choices and hence act upon the corresponding course of action.
I guess I lost mine a long time ago =D But that's not the point. Your conscience doesn't perform like a CISCO burglary alarm when you're at the crossroads. It usually kicks you in the stomache RIGHT AFTER you've muddled up. Typically, one will go "What have I done?" And then the story continues on where you would continue to commit errors all day long in your life, similar in nature or not, indefinetely. It's so inevitable that one smartass from ages ago decided to reassure everyone that "IT IS HUMAN TO ERR" Sounds familiar? That's probably one of the most common lines which counsellors pop in to ice (don't use the word this way in GP) the suicidal thoughts of their client.
It's a fact that some people have a minute conscience, if there's a way to quantify it in size. We all know serial rapists should all die because they're one rank up: SERIAL. The same goes for druglords who wash their hands in both blood and money. Notice that I used the word minute, not "a total lack of". In my humble opinion, EVERYONE has a conscience. The question is when does it kick in. A hungry man who has problems feeding himself would engage in thievery for self sustenance, with morals and ethics tossed to the furthest corner of his mind for painfully obvious reasons. In the past he'll be executed right away. Oh lol, just his luck hor.
One's conscience need not necessarily surface at any point in time, but it will, MOST likely, occur when one is at the brink of losing the things he holds dearest to him. That's when regret knocks one out, Mohammad Ali style. Ouch. Drugs can make you go really high, but not en route to heaven for sure.
Just to put this whole entry in context, I'm not one who lacks a conscience. I'm indifferent to many things, but not to real and intangible (quite the paradox) matters that, well, matters most to the heart.
I could still recall the day when she (this special someone) was more enthu than the guys captain when it comes to hauling people to trainings, in particular, me. She called me five times within 20 minutes of the starting time, and another three a few hours later, from home. I couldn't even pick up the phone. What was I going to answer? What COULD I answer? Nothing. Nuff said.
Just today, I ran into her early in the morning and she asked me why did I skip training yesteday. I said I had CIP, which was valid by the way. I skipped today's too. I just didn't feel like going, there was NO POINT in me going, but that's not a good reason. Not for myself. So I guess its not for her too. Sometimes, I wish I could simply do the following:

Mime

2008-02-22T22:34:00.000-08:00

Hopefully no Google search lands someone here.
"Intelligent" beings learn by imitation. That would explain why the monkeys at the zoo are capable of procuring bananas on their own even if they're hidden inside boxes. They know bananas grow on trees for sure, but they're might just be debating if there are trees inside those boxes (not the point). Likewise, children function similarly in scary ways. You can stab yourself and tell them NOT to do it, but the they will skip the auditory message and instead try out what you're actually doing - simply because they want to find out what's going to happen next.
~
Ks/Xd has shown me some hilarious videos on youtube that features episodes that are being broadcasted from certain Arabian TV stations. The first one is a cartoon that begins with "evil" Israeli soldiers who murder a family, leaving one sole surivor who later joins a terrorist school and "learn" more about what they're up against. He later straps grenades on to himself and ambushes a convoy that consists of the same few Israeli murderers, shouts "ALLAH AKHBAR!", or "God is great", and kills everyone. The aftermath shows only a bloodied spot on the "matyr's" body.
The second one is a show similar to that of Barney the dinosaur, just that the character in a suit now is Farfour, the Arabian (?) version of Mickey Mouse. Farfour's grandfather handed him a key and some documents concerning the "real origins" of the land which Jerusalem resides on before dying. He also explained that Islam once ruled the word, and will be masters of the world again in time to come. Later Farfour gets captured by Israelis who wants to trade for the documents with money. When Farfour refuses, he gets beaten up (EXTREMELY FUNNY, you don't get to see Mickey getting beaten up everyday) and then the screen says "Farfour is matyred".
It might have been twice as funny had I not known a disturbing fact. These videos are created with the intention of targeting an age group, specifically, children. Yes, truly. Instead of Power Rangers, Pokemon, or even Barney who is unbelievably corny, they're exposed to sickening falsehoods at too tender an age, where their capability of differentiating right from wrong is at its weakest. It is true that Israelis have killed women and children before, but what is the reasoning behind it? Would you really receive Allah-knows-how-many virgins as a reward if you do indeed "martyr" yourself? Finally, what do you stand to gain, truly, from blowing yourself up?
Unfortunately, there are half as many responses indicating a terrifying lack of reasoning too. Some people believe that Muslims themselves are at the root of the problem, when we all know it is the twisted misinterpretation of the Quran by only a few. And then the story continues. More and more people will be dragged into something they have no desire to be in, given a choice. Some go on to think that the existence of religions divide people irrevocably and is at fault for all the turmoil in this troubled world. Oh wow. It's funny how people always think that cats and dogs can't ever get along.
If we believe in an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, we will all be blind and dumb in the end.

Osmosis

2008-02-16T20:57:00.000-08:00

Gunpowder came from China in 900s, but the US ends up having the highest number of gun/household ratio, and owns the record of having the highest number of deaths caused by munitions. Geography's not a boundary, it's merely separation in name.
I could remember sometime last year while I was playing Taidi with my first 3 months class, whereby one Indonesian played 5 diamonds on top of my 5 clubs, saying that's the way suits are ranked in their country. Everyone else went "HUH", hence giving me the moral authority to throw the cards back to him while saying "Sorry, but welcome to Singapore." I could do with less rulesets to confuse me. That game has only one origin, but yet it can turn into something "new" with misinterpretation.
It is inevitable, but not applicable to everything. Although there are lots of Vietnamese and American people playing *Chinese* chess, there's only one way to win. Same goes for all the computer games out there.
And because this happens, it becomes ET 1982 again everytime paths cross each other. Everyone's curious as to what's on the other side, be it greener or not. It is a fact that people look at things differently, and therefore you get to learn something new each time you bother to interact with that someone from somewhere else you've never been to.
Luckily, the world only (grows) smaller.

Treadmill

2008-02-10T05:30:00.000-08:00

If you have the deliver the blessing correctly, the word "Happy" comes before "Chinese New Year" for a good reason - at least to me.
It is a holiday DESIGNED to give families time to come together. It seems like a chore already for teenagers. After checking with a dozen of my friends, we've all arrived at the same conclusion: SIAN LAH. Basically, the holiday can be summarised with 5 things to do.
1) Collecting red packets. This year's unique for me, since my mum's siblings have all forgotten to give me any red packets. Not that I'm complaining, because all I ever do with money is dump it into the bank. Who wouldn't get tired of doing it, already?
2) Eat. First you devour all the snacks available at everyone's houses, which range from pineapple tarts to chinese jerky (Bakkwa). Oh, the bakkwa always tastes nicer from the shop that your aunt purchased from, not yours. Next, the compulsory "lao yu sheng" where you have a field day at messing up the table while chanting out queer blessings nonstop. At the end of the day, you'll get a throat so sore your eyes can't match despite looking at terrible skits acted out by Mediacorp actors on stage.
3) I'm asked the same question everytime: "You're in secondary what ar?" Alternatively, I'll get the "Whoa you're really tall now!" remark that irks me the most. I'm uncertain as to the age when human beings become senile, but I'm sure it isn't fifty for every single adult out there. TELL ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT NEXT TIME CAN? I promise my nephews/nieces that I'll be alot nicer. If I don't have anything to say, I will dao them entirely. How's that for doing them a favour?
4) This is one cool thing that I'm pretty new to, and I've never made a profit yet thus far. I'm still very inept at deciding which tiles to keep, or be aware of what "feng" it is already. Worse still, I've no idea what decides how much money I'm actually tossing out each turn. Yes, it is the amazing game that rivals golf when it comes to being a socialiazing avenue. I'm so blur that I can miss out on "pong"-able tiles half the time ^^
5) I invented it this year. Well if you don't have any mahjong or poker cards at hand, and if you happen to have robo-aunties/uncles that say the same thing everytime, you can just position yourself at the best possible spot ever - the sofa. Simply curl comfortably into one corner, close your eyes, and count sheeps until you arrive at Lalaland. Your parents will tell you when it's time to go anyway. Sounds like a flight, yes?
(Un)Fortunately, we're teenagers for just a couple of years more. Work, university, or stupid NS will somehow ensure that at least one of your future *happy* chinese new years may no longer be the same anymore. Thirty years down the road, I won't ever get to listen to "Whoa you're really tall now!" anymore (I'm not dying to hear it). By then, it will just seem as though I made this post the day before.
"Time flies past really fast leh!" Anyone got that from their aunt?

Ripple

2008-01-28T07:03:00.000-08:00

I once saw this corny phrase that goes "Friendship is the best ship ever!". I banished that notion to the back of my mind, wondering how did the creative process of creating word play occur to someone in such a retarded way.
Just yesterday, I had one undescribable conversation with a certain XYZ. Undescribable because you can't call it weird, and it is not funny either. Tough call, yes?
"XYZ says:
eh can you promise me something really stupid?
<_hj_> 尤其是数学，剑圣一级跳劈砍出来的数字都比他考的分数要高。 says:
?
<_hj_> 尤其是数学，剑圣一级跳劈砍出来的数字都比他考的分数要高。 says:
*crosses fingers*
XYZ says:
can we still be friendly and be friends after graduating
XYZ says:cos i realized i dont have many friends "
Whoa. I was shell-shocked. I don't get to answer these kind of questions everyday, in fact the last time I had to make the same promise, it was exactly a year ago to EFG, but under totally different circumstances.
XYZ is stranded in a peculiar situation. While not being totally inward like a sponge, he (yes, go guess who) keeps a low profile not to the point of being invisible, but merely transforming, over time, into the many other billions of MSN contacts you have (obviously the ones you don't talk to). Honestly, nobody corresponds religiously to more than half of their known contacts via handphone or MSN for one main reason - the value of the friendship has dipped below that of stock markets worldwide on last Tuesday. However, XYZ's situation was a little more unique. He decided to hop on the highway without knowing that he had paid a price (whether it's going to cost, that's another issue). In exchange for a different brand of education, he forgoes two good years that could have possibly been used to establish deeper friendships back in secondary school - something I'll never experience and am glad that I didn't. On top of that, The system ensures that you'l make just as many friends as you're prepared to lose - ever changing classes due to banding and subject choices. Do the math and you'll get an answer as certain as your $180+ graphic calculator can tell you: inevitably, the ground beneath you is shifting.
What does that really imply? Anyone who goes through such a system will be carried away by the high tide (any surfer's favourite), unless they dig their anchors in hard. If you don't talk to a certain someone on your msn contact list for a year, P(the 2 of you talking again) would be lower than that of P(me getting my forehand drive right). NOTHING, escapes the flow of time. When everyone withers and ends up looking like willow trees, what's going to be the most important asset they're left with? CPF? Medishield/care/save? Or some landed property overseas? Nope, none of the above. It's memories. It's memories that will bring that smile to your face before you leave this horrid world and your woes behind (provided you die a natural death).
When's the last time you've done something about the people around you? Are they mobile fixtures in your everyday life? If only the label "Under Maintenance" can be applied to something so abstract. I'm beginning to FULLY appreciate the efforts of a Sec 4 classmate of mine who, organized a dozen LAN parties, held Christmas parties, and birthday parties for our class even though he's not one bit rich. In fact, he's a simple guy whose parents divorced during Sec 1. With the support of his mother and the nice guy in heaven, he ends up treasuring things money can't buy much more than I do. I never understood the fuss involved when he buys a birthday gift for someone. I realise now (albeit not too late, I hope) that I'm just a little better off than a bankrupt who's done paying off his IOUs a few years back. Life blazes so brilliantly only because it dies out, far quicker than we want it to.
Let's brainstorm for solutions as to what you can do to renew your friendship license. Will buying the cutest teddybear for that person's birthday do the trick? How about going all fiery with "I LUV YOU XOXO" to show some love? Maybe we ought to send out more of those "Merry Xmas To Everyone! Wish you all a ..." kind of messages to everyone on our contact list, that might work. No of course not, I delete those within 2 seconds of reading the first line >=)
The world may mean nuts to you, but you may mean the world* (degree may vary =D) to someone. Let's just do our little part by personally engaging those around us (obviously those that matter the most), a small step at a time. Smile stupidly at someone if you have to, but only if you're trying to make that person smile back. Go out together for some FUN-FILLED activity instead of mugging together that results either in productivity or a stoning session. And so much more... (I'm uncreative, shoot me).
In case any of you were wondering, I replied "yes" to XYZ's question. I tried to come up with a LOL kind of condition that is meant as a joke, but gave up in the end simply because my brain was blitzed furiously by neurons that went "WZDZDSFGXfxaxxDZ" instead of a logical idea. Yeah ,stop laughing at me. Just wait till you're asked the same question.

4Kings

2008-01-23T03:45:00.001-08:00

I just had to blog about this. And this isn't an emo post.
I guess I should have seen this coming. Three of the kings left already - FoV because he could postpone his army service and obtain cheap affordable living in mid 2006 to wNv; Creo who stopped playing because he wanted to commit himself to studies in university, but not without winning the most prestigious award with fireworks; ToD left because apparently the team management did not renew his contract for whatever reasons. So there's just one king left.
It's like a weird dream. I doubt the thought of Mancher United closing down would ever occur to their fans, ever. Same here as was 4kings to me. The brand was a trademark, it is synonymous with the game itself, such that when you mention 4Kings, anyone will tell you about the wc3 team (not that I disrespect the other gaming divisions in 4K).
(Back in 2003) The first member was 4K.Tillerman who was a legend, but he had quitted just so that he can go do poker instead. Then there was Kiko,Bond and Kaj who I didn't get to take much notice of. I know LaWn and FuRy was some sick 2 on 2, but thats as far back as I went in 2003 - as my stupid computer lagged the nuts out of me so did my interest in the game. I didn't even know that FoV and Zacard were Koreans, but luckily I know that both ToD and FoV were in 4K.
When I finally had a new ram chip stuffed into the CPU, the first thing I did was scout for replays, and I ended up at the WC3L (most prestigious league) webpage. The first thing I did was to look out for 4Kings, and there they are at the very top during season 8. They were either first or second place ever since, falling to third only once all the way till mid of 2007.
I remember clicking the refresh button a dozen times every minute to wait for updates on the scores during their clan wars, hoping that they'll make it through. I'll feel all high and triumphant when they do 5-0 or a 4-1 over the opposition, or simply any one of them doing an all kill in NGL. I remember feeling SIAN whenever they've lost a clan war so narrowly, but praying ever so fervently whenever anyone of the players was at 1-1. I remember how the team won the WC3L Season 9 finals using only 3 members - ToD, Grubby and Zeus, coming up from the loser bracket and winning 3-2, then 4-1, while they had to forfeit a point every match. I was jumping up and down then, hugging my monitor and cheering to bits ^^
The last few months were a little painful to look at, knowing that they're only a shade of their former selves with those 3 major players gone. There's no 4Kings to look at no more, ever. I'll never get to see the tag 4K in front of their names again in international competitions. There's no reason left to stay up and spam the refresh button hoping that my favourite team will pull through.
It was fun watching them play. The only upside is that the players didn't vanish, they're just in different teams for now. That's good enough a reason for me to continue supporting them.
I'll always be a fan of you guys.GOODLUCK.

HORROR

2008-01-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Is for sale. It's priced so cheap that even the Great Singapore Sale would pale in comparison when it comes to volume of goods sold, which in this case is, as you can guess, sheer horror.
Everyone knows that fear is a primal instinct, and it overrides all primary functions, circuitry or wiring in your brain. When it does kick in, rationale decision making gets chucked into the bin, and then you will speculate of spectacularly terrifying castastrophes occuring so frequently you can't tell midnight from day.
We all know who's the biggest exporter of this wonderful product. They label countries that are perceived as threatening to be the "axis of evil" more persistently than the MDA sticking "EXPLICIT CONTENT" labels onto explosive albums. Murder grabs their headlines so effortlessly, that by the time a convict is proven innocent, he ends being on the 6th page instead. If that isn't persuasive enough, they can always flash the red light on air travel a little more often. Oh my. When was the last time the only thing worth worrying about was nukes flying all over? 30 years ago, right.
The dangers we all face are no less real than what's being reported, yet the ones in control love to spin tales longer than their noses. The power of fear lies in the fact that it is so contagious, so viral that the masses would be thumping the same beat eventually. It grips us tighter than those conditions of them impoverished people.
I have been infected too. A levels is so terrifying that I'm actually studying. Right.

Chime

2008-01-06T07:01:00.000-08:00

When history repeats itself, people tend to actually say, "Gosh, history is repeating itself!" They get this overwhelming sense of familiarity thats second only to the phenomenon known as deja-vu. Well, not always. Sometimes I end up LOL-ing first before saying "SHIT!", skipping the "Gosh.." part altogether.
It happened during chem pract. I collected a weird assortment of test tubes that consisted of mini ones too - I thought they were meant for 5 year olds to play with. After conducting those colorful (literally) experiments, I offered to return the test tubes (my partner, for the first time, being a girl). I didn't hold the bundle too tightly for fear of crushing them by accident, hence I held them loosely instead. The next thing I knew was one of the mischievous test tubes breaking loose from my hold, falling down on to the table and, as you guess it - shattered into lots of pieces.
"LOL" That's my instinctive response - yes, I laugh at just about everything. I looked up to my horror - Mr Wee (my chem teacher) took the initiative by not bringing me a piece of cloth, but by handing me the log book that had records of whoever broke this and that. By then "SHIT!" races through my mind, because I realised what could possibly be in store for me - the dreaded CWO. A quick count with my fingers gave me a sigh of relief, simply because I couldn't remember the last time I broke anything in school. I vaguely recalled that this was no different from baseball, i.e. you needed 3 strikes before you're out. Phew.
I smiled sheepishly at the teacher before flipping to the right page, and filled in the columns accordingly.
"Hey, it's you again!" My teacher called out.
No kidding. The previous entry has my name on it. The date read 27/8/07. Oops. Wasn't that during...
Chem SPA had just ended. 4 of my classmates had already broke some test tubes, and they were queueing up to fill in the log book. I had the impulse to laugh at them, which is of course what happened next. I had intended to point and laugh ; in the end I only got to carry out the first half. My hand slapped a beaker into the basin. Everyone had a good laugh immediately - me aside, of course. At least I left a delible mark in the "archives" of the school..
The next time I want a recurring event, I dearly hope that it would be that of me receiving my A level results, mirroring that of when I was collecting my O's. Otherwise, I'll end up typing some nostalgic entry beginning with:
When history repeats itself, people tend to actually say...

WHAT?

2008-01-01T03:37:00.000-08:00

And then there was 2007.
It didn't just end abruptly; I watched it dissolve day by day. That doesn't make the year more unique, because apparently I'm so aware of its passing that I'm beginning to feel the dreadfulness associated with next year....
HAH.
In reality I'm not half as emo as the above. 2007 was a brilliant year (can't say the same for others), mainly because it was really flashy. In what sense? Lets see..
First 3 months: Scraped through homework and met cool people in school.
Next 3 months: NJCG when I finally won something because of my blatant addiction. And then I met more cool people (2nd intakers). God I know I'm lousy when it comes to descriptions, but cool is a one size fit all kind of word.
Well, another 3 months: BORING. except when I began talking to MUPPET =D It was like an everyday affair that was obviously more exciting than sun sets and rises. Yes, thanks alot MUPPET.
Whew, and finally last 3 months: Went as actively as I could for squash, because I don't want to end up bnetting for more than 16 hours in a row, which if I recall correctly, did get me sick previously. At least I needn't worry about entering NS 4 weeks earlier - I got my ass moving enough, I think. Gaming with Ks, Xd and Zr was cool too. We just need to figure out how to stop typing LMAO during the "Quiz of Death".... and besides staying up till 1 to 3am everyday to squeeze in the extra bnet game or to pass another 50 turns in MOO3, I pretty much enjoyed this whole time. *Dodges the label "LOSER" *
Oh, I must give an honourable mention to PW. I had the most LOL kind of group that did extreme makeovers many times over just to drag ourselves out of crap so deep we'd be amazed to get ME at the end of the day. Yes, I'm actually proud of the "quality" work we conjured out of ROFL-land. Thanks guys, I didn't get to say this to any of you.
Oh one more to kingkong ^^ The person who is perma-dieting without any visible results =D you just make me go =) because you're nice to POKE FUN at XD
One to Mr Loh. I didn't forget what you told me. That's enough on my part.
To CHS 2006 4-4: The bunch of people that are still BROTHERS. SPEECHLESS. Just so unique it puts the word 'funky' to shame ^^
Next year? Oh dang. It's *this* year. Good thing I barely finished my work, so I needn't get beaten up by any teachers right off the bat. Squash? See how it goes. NJCG? Yes please another mouse! Birthday? Must make it a lil cooler than before! Girlfriend? Skip. Friends? Get loads more, uh huh. A levels? D-U-H. NS? It's probably the most hip chalet with free food, free lodging, free guns to play with... RIGHT. It's going to come anyway.
The future? Who cares, I'm no seer. And that wraps everything up. Now, what was I going to say...
LETS DO THIS.
*takes a deep breathe, syncing the last few songs, and sleeps peacefully, knowing that 2008 is upon him*

Chui #2

2007-11-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

I pray that the process wasn't painful. I sincerely hope that you would find your way. Rest well.

Chui

2007-11-24T06:34:00.001-08:00

When someone I know might be dead, my heart feels heavier than usual.

Please DON'T be so chui.

Report

2007-11-17T18:40:00.000-08:00

This morning was a little more interesting. My mum was talking about a newspaper article regarding the "Xiao Hua" and "Xiao Cao" nominees from NUS and NTU. If I'm not wrong, these titles are awarded in recognition of your looks.

What happened was that the nominees were given questions in the field of general knowledge (all in chinese). The first one was : "Who is Singapore's Minister Mentor?" When I first heard the question I didn't know that the chinese term referred to Minister Mentor, so I had to ask my mum for the translation. One guy answered "Goh Chok Tong". Pretty 1337 answer.

Second question: "What is Australia's capital?" Some of them answered Perth and Sydney (I did too =D) while the answer was Canberra.

Third question: "What is the biggest continent?" Some answered Europe, while the answer is Asia.

Fourth: "What is America's capital?" Some didn't know, but one managed to come up with Washington.

Fifth, and my favourite: "What is the answer when you divide 99999 by 11111?" The nominees reportedly took more than a minute to answer this.

The review? The newspaper editor saw it fit to condemn these nominees by labelling them as morons in an important section of the "Lian He Wan Bao". He went on with loads of derisive remarks, finally ending with "No wonder Lee Ao said that Singaporeans are stupid."

Ah, the irony. Why would a competition that's based on looks have their participants bombarded with questions on general knowledge?

Morever, times have changed so rapidly that people these days are not so well-informed of certain details . For example, you would have probably seen the word "Perth" and "Sydney" in the newspapers a dozen times more than "Canberra", given the fact that they are more popular cities. Same goes for "Washington" when people have heard of New York way more often.

I pity the nominees, really. But I'm more sympathetic towards the editor.

Teeth

2007-11-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

XXX: " You ought to listen to others more when they tell you stuff. You got this 'ok la whatever' kind of attitude.' .. "

I nearly shouted back FUCK YOU when you told me this. First, you pulled me out in a totally retarded manner. And then you try to pull this fucking crap on me.

WHAT THE FUCK do you think I've been trying to do all this while? Do I look as though I've thrown in the towel? I'm not trying hard enough? Haven't I been listening to what everyone said? Isn't nodding my head good enough? I need to go down on my fucking knees to appease you now? 'Put in more effort' LMAO. Fuck you bitch. Like totally.

I knew you're a son of a bitch the very first time I saw you, I just didn't behave as though you are one. Fuck, just about the other few people I talked to about you told me how fucked up you are. Just because you dig these things faster than I do doesn't mean a fucking thing about how great you are, and no, you're not one fucking bit cool so stop trying to be. I should have just nailed your balls and watch you cry out in pain you bastard. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP if you don't have anything constructive to say, really. You totally fucked whatever mood I had left up.

On a lighter note, here's my thanks for your piece of dipshit advice: _l_ FU YOU KNNBCCB _l_

Conceivable

2007-11-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

People ditching one another for a gain.Mhmmm wait a minute, now that's too specific. How about... friends? Hoho.

Everyone has experienced it one way or another. That explains why maybe 30% of your drama series or movies have their plots revolving around this issue. It is THAT amazing to talk about - especially if the backstabber happens to be more twisted in his means, the more exciting the story gets. There isn't a textbook way to stab someone in the back; the symptoms of suspicious motives can be non-existent too.

Needless to say, no insurance policy can commensurate you when such a catastrophe strikes - truly one of a kind isn't it. Fortunately, the same primal instinct works both ways, hence *nearly* everyone has an in-built firewall against such an event. There may be many sharks in the same aquarium, but only one has been swimming the longest.

So what do you do if you realised that you've just been stabbed in the back? No, don't do it literally back to that person. It never works. You can, however, opt to:

Tip 1: Get over it. Cruel, but true. Letting go is always the hardest thing to do, especially if the thing you've just lost means alot to you. *HINT/DISCLAIMER/PLEASE.NOTE* It's always easier said than done. Period.

Oh dang. I shouldn't have even done numbering, simply because there's only one real solution.The most impressive thing that you can do is to be magnanimous, i.e. letting him/her off because you happen to be *understanding*. It takes a major guilt trip for that person to apologise, but the story almost always ends way before this happens.

Everyone gets a happy ending. Even if this event befalls you.

The grass will only turn yellow due to the soil that it is entrenched in, which irrevocably extends its commitment for self preservation.

Belief

2007-10-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a say in something. Even if it doesn't concern them one bit.

Unfortunately, the only people whose opinions do count, however, are those with power. Power granted mostly by those whose opinions DON'T count.

It is in *anyone's* interest to *ensure* that their *subordinates* have a degree of fear. The less educated they are and the less well-informed they are would mean that they are less of a threat.

It is also in anyone's interest to stay out of anything. The less they know, the happier they will be.

If the above two paragraphs are true, then the following must be true:

1) People become interested things that affect them, only.

2) People will not take any action until they are *threatened*.

3) Apathy makes your world go round.

4) People will want *something* to make them feel *secure*.

Hence here we are today. It's just like why monkeys love peanut butter and jam as much as we do.

Hmph

2007-10-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

This is actually more difficult than I thought it would be.
I don't care.
Then I make a big fuss over it.
Next I bother myself with it.
I'll never win. No kidding, barely anyone does.
But I want to. Really.
Would you then give it a try?
YES.
That's just plain talk isn't it?
You tell me what then.
You wouldn't like the answer.
Oh, try me.
You know it yourself. *nudges*
No way.
See what I said?
...
Hah.
Fine.
Fine what?
I'll do it.
Oh really? Why?
For myself.
Sure?
As hell.
I can't believe this HAHAHA
I'm doing it.
HAHAHA.
For myself.
Oh my.
You can say that a few more times.
You're actually done?
No kidding.
Alright then.
We'll do it. Together.

Honor

2007-09-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to do GP over it.
Lemme tell you this simply story:
I was WoW-ing (world of warcraft) today at this really sickening area with lousy background music that lasts only 15 seconds and it auto-loops every 5 minutes. I didn't want to switch on any music player because I don't want to be jacked from behind if I could hear it coming.
I managed to get to this small plot of land that is surrounded by mobs. I came here for a really good reason , 1) I had a task that needs me killing 20 of this stupid robots, and they're all picnic-ing happily here in pairs, and 2) if it's surrounded in the first place, no stupid horde guy (opposite faction) is going to get me without me knowing. I went about killing a few more robots until I saw Juack (obviously not his real name, no sane mother is cruel enough to name a son so) killing another robot not too far away. He's already down to half health, but heck so am I because I just finished killing one. He took one look at me, and charged right up while I was still sitting down. Ok I'm not going to describe what happened, but I managed to kill him barely. I started to worry. I needed to kill like 10+ more robots that would need at least 20 minutes maybe, and I needed to mug for econs. Yet there's no way I can kill in peace because ugly Juack is definitely going to come back to claim his corpse. Oh well.
I decided to move abit out further so that I can spot him coming from afar. The last thing I wanted was him mauling me while I'm trying to kill a robot (it is really taxing to do so). Anyway the second time we saw it each other, it was pretty fair since we were both at full health. I won again.
I've already wasted 10 minutes and I only killed 4 robots. GG to my schedule, and it's because I have to worry about someone jacking me from behind.
The third time it happened, I was killing another robot halfway when he came right for me (thankfully my back was facing a gorge, so he had to come from the front). I disposed of the mob quickly and killed him yet again with luck - I managed to chug a potion when I had a sliver of life left. The amount of honor points (gained from killing players of the opposing faction) from this encounter was pretty satisfying - twice the amount I collected ever since I first played (yes I've been killing lowbies that yield me nuts).
IS THERE GONNA BE A FOURTH TIME?? Oh darn I saw him again soon after. This time I'm pretty beaten already, since I didn't heal up in between kills. I was prepped anyway - my fingers hit a button and the casting time for a spell started to count down. I knew I was going to die anyway because I had no mana to cast much spells (my only arsenal).
Something caught my eye. I quickly jumped to cancel my cast with 0.2 seconds left. Apparently Juack has made an emote - he waved at me. Now that's kinda bizarre. I'm pretty much free honor points to boot within 2 swings max from his axe. And then I decided there wasn't much point in fighting. I happily waved back. Yes, no inverted commars for waving. It is done literally in the game.
I asked him foolishly : " Do you speak english?". Juack replied back in Orcish : "Mokk agathar!"
Like hell I understand what that means. Of course, how could I forget? The game designer created languages intentionally for difference factions to speak in - there's no way an illiterate gnome (me) could converse with an orc (Juack). I waved back once more. He left me in peace, and went about his own business. Several times later when we ran past each other, we simply waved at each other without even attacking. I guess it's understood that it would be more productive if we're left to do our own tasks.
It's pretty funny. It is intended for players of the opposite faction to kill each other should they meet. It applies through out all demographics, i.e a high level player can waltz into a town to kill several lowbies over and over again to tick them off. Henceforth the "hate" is sown yet again, when the lowbies get big, they repeat the cycle. Nevermind that it wasn't a hate game to begin with, where's the fun without some fighting? It just so happens that Juack and I had a mutual understanding, albeit not through linguistic means because I don't want to read more Orcish gibberish.
What happened was perhaps how people treated each other in the past - with this code of honor thing that isn't all too relevant today. You've probably watched movies of generals of opposing armies centuries ago walking to each other before the battle starts to discuss terms, when in fact it seems perfectly logical to me to kill the leader asap while he's alone. You've seen how certain people actually cease fighting in a duel when their enemy have fallen due to other means - obviously both desired a fair fight. Ok so maybe it's because I'm just cheapskate and not heroic one bit. Maybe it's because they're just really movies where stars do shine (the night sky in Singapore show that it is a fallacy).
Maybe I let Juack off because my econs is in need of dire attention as compared to killing him just for intangible satisfaction and honor points that I have no idea of how to redeem for better equipment.
Maybe I let Juack off because he helped me by clearing the harder mobs so that I could kill the easier ones (unintentionally, of course).
Maybe it's simply because we have all learned to conveniently forget.

Echo

2007-09-17T04:18:00.000-07:00

Before:
There were 11. Well, it could be a few more, but they were a ton older so I never got to know them well. Inevitably, they broke off eventually, one by one, and drifted away. New seeds were already being sown then.
Now:
There is... hmph I needn't count. They're noisy enough. Everything seems so surreal. I never tried imagining, but it wasn't that surprising for things to be the way they are now.
It was my grandfather's birthday. Everyone's pretty much there.
Time flies.

Tiger

2007-09-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

I went to Games Convention Asia 07 with Kaisheng and Xuandao yesterday.
I wasn't awaiting this event - I didn't even know it existed until that morning, and it is thanks to the most unlikely source ever =D
One reason why I wanted to go so badly was because I thought there was free SC2 available. It was so dissappointing to see that the Blizzard booth had ZERO signs of SC2 present, save for one 2 big TV screens, one showing the Burning Crusade opening vid (DUDE THATS EARLY THIS YEAR) and cinematic trailer on WoTLK (OK THATS AVAILABLE ONLINE LA). Pfft. I'm your biggest fan stupid blizz, I've played WC 1 like since 10 years back!
It was funny seeing how does Nintendo Wii works. It is funny as how a video I watched on Youtube places it: "shaking some stupid thing". Kaisheng and Xuandao went to try this game (no idea what the name is) that involves slaying humans by using a gun or a knife - that's when the shaking comes in. Somehow headshots don't cut it, because you need at least 3 bullets in the head to see it getting blasted off. The knife's way more gosu. Just swing it like opening champagne bottles and you'll get to slash mobs at one go provided they are close enough. Unfortunately, the game designer is kinda short sighted. While there were many ways in which enemies can be beheaded, there wasn't any way to show guts flying out =/
Asiasoft with their whole load of cartoonish games came with full force. I guess this is some gross miscalculation on Blizzard's part, didn't they notice the sick number of sales of BC early this year on its opening date? I'll spend my whole day trying out SC2 if I don't have to look at kiddie games or poser games. There's this gay stupid RTS game called Darkness and Light coming out by Asiasoft. THE MAP LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE DOTA ROFL. How stupid can you get? You have hero portraits on the top left hand corner, similiar interfaces, even retarded creep waves exist! Then there was this other game that was called Warhammer Online that is an exact replica of WoW with graphics plugged in from 5 years back. Had Blizzard been wise enough to patent their game models, they needn't even make anymore games in the future to make money. They are that groundbreaking.
The Razer booth was the most exciting one. They invited "Rocketboy" from China to play Quake 3 1 on 1 with any member of the public in a 15 frag match. Should anyone be able to get 2 frags, they would be able to walk away with a Death Adder mouse. That's the catch though - out of the 20+ people that went up to try, only one guy managed to get 1 kill, and it's only because Rocketbuy spent almost all of his health blasting himself to spots using his rocket launcher. His play truly redefines what WTF means. Besides bunny hopping across sections that seem so far away, he travels across the map so insanely to get all the pickups, leaving the opponent with only one to play at most. He even humiliated several players by gauntlet-ing them all 15 frags. The most sick parts was railing them in mid air. Ontop of this, one truly surprising fact was that a girl managed to take 2 frags off him the day before oO. Thats like so WOW...
Played this cool Tekken 5 game on PS3 and I picked all the hot and sexy chicks. Yes I love their long, long legs. To think that Tse Mei thought I was referring to her when I placed it as my msn nick - HAH!.
It's about time more gaming stuff takes place on Singapore - like ALOT more.

Visit

2007-08-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

Teacher's Day-
Wanted to pon, but ended up coming to school because there would be so much pwnage awaiting at home should my parents know that I've actually skipped school. Stupid of me to tell my mum by accident that there's school anyway.
ACES Day workout was changed into something really... ok well I'm just speechless. It's techo music with kickboxing made into some exercise - need I say more?
Skipped celebrations from 9am onwards, because I was really afraid that it was going to be a repeat of the National Day celebrations. Played some squash until everything was over, and headed back to Catholic High to see a few teachers.
Yuan(Form and Chinese): Is missing in action. Ok I miss her now that I've got the english and nastier version of her teaching me maths and being my CT now =/ Best of health to you then.
Anna Tan(Maths): She talked about spoiling us without much choice, because the priority was to ace the O levels. Always extremely motherly(don't mind the nagging) and warm/caring. Please replace my current maths teacher through a miracle k thanks.
Edwin Heng(English): My saviour. He solved the one last piece of my puzzle, the one I never thought had an answer in sight. He never gave up. That's good enough a reason for me not to. Thanks, you're inspirational (something I haven't said to more than 3 people in my life).
Danny Tan(History): Smart and really funny. I needn't go into detail. He get things done right and shows us how to do it, with lots of faith in everyone. The first guy I thanked on the day of O levels.
The rest: None too memorable. But definitely invaluable. Thanks anyway
Yup I know it's strange how I started to thank everyone of them here, like 9 months long over due. It's only right when you know who have walked beside you to the end, I guess. And I never got to properly thank them anyway.
I spent 15 minutes alone at my old classroom. Took a few photos of my seat, the board, alongside the windows. I walked in circles endlessly, looking out of the window nervously, as though a former teacher of mine is going to enter the classroom to begin lessons. All the other classrooms are empty now. They weren't like that last year. It was always filled with crazy people skateboarding in them and smashing up lockers - 4-7 people from 2006. Then there's also the occasional burst of loud laughter from 4-8. I could just sit there forever - until someone actually called me.
It felt so familiar, this feeling of uncertainty. Like how I used to cry all of a sudden when I tried to imagine how things would be like as time passed, should my parents pass away and leaving me alone.
This is what defines a person in the end I guess - the courage to accept reality and know that it must happen. When you no longer try so hard to stop the inevitable from occuring, that's when you'll know what truly lies at the end.
Spent some incredible day with 4-4 classmates. Lots of laughter, lots of fun. Thank god I was stupid enough to tell my mum that there was school today.

Contingent

2007-08-26T04:39:00.000-07:00

Friday was NJ’s Open day. It sucks really bad because obviously no serious sec 4 student is ever going to turn up on the midst of their prelims. Not that it really matters anyway. Any student who couldn’t make it to RJ/VJ/HCI would end up coming here ^^
The IT club had nothing to showcase besides trying to pull people in to play. I was so tempted to just play one ladder game. It has been 5 weeks since I last played one. I was so desperate to get just one game that I actually helped to pack up the Aikido stall to get Kai Sheng out =p Upon reaching Bytez however, there remaining two functioning comps didn’t have LAN connection. There, I didn’t break my vow after all. I could already feel my micro ebbing away. I could no longer do unit blocks (not that I could do it well in the first place), nor can I even run dying stuff away successfully. Everything feels so foreign, especially so with the new diamondback.
Oh, why the diamondback? Why wasn’t it a death adder? Somehow, IT club misplaced it. They then decided to buy a new one for me, which of course has to be paid through the CCA funds. And since they had to pay, they’ve decided to compromise by paying $30 for the diamondback instead of $80+ for a death adder. Eventually, the CCA took three weeks just to get the money out of their funds, and even then Nigel had to go and get it for me on his own(THANKS ALOT, though you won’t read this). I’m not complaining though. It’s not as if I fought really hard to win this, and 200 dpi isn’t going to make a difference unless it’s an FPS (which I don’t play). Being nice does get things done.
After Open Day was officially over, I played some squash with Joel and made one really lousy shot into the ceiling that actually blew a hole right through it – and resulting in three balls falling down. Now that part of the ceiling threatens to break off , making it unsafe for people to use the courts =/
Gloria once asked me, “What if there’s something that can’t be explained actually happens to you?” While only one out of twenty five thousand would actually be afflicted with uveitis, with 80% of them being above 30 years old, what are the chances that I would be the one down with it among all of you people?
I didn’t have a proper answer for her then.

$

2007-08-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

GP TOPIC SENTENCE: Money makes the world go round (not as if we don't know the world really is round). You agree boh?
Thesis: Of course la! Everyone wants money. Which bodoh don't want? Got money can do lots liao lo. Like can go change new handphone every month la, buy all those new Nokia 9999 model sia. They make those new phones like rats make babies like that, I buy one new phone already, I become outdated even before my prepaid card expire. Alamak la duno why those maker so bo tai ji one, whole day their head only got things like 3G and 12345 sms free that kind. Help my stupid PW can liao ma! Whole day generate idea, all use to make $$ one!
Agree : People not loyal to many things one okay, but if got one thing for sure hor, they are loyal to $$! Who can pay them more of course go work for them la! Do that stupid job kena tekan nevermind one, $$ will make you forget all your worries! We not talking about getting yourselves fed with 3 meals. It's all about CONDO leh! Can also buy Ferrari sia! Singaporeans whole day complain Certificate Of Entitlement too expensive, complain go through ERP gantry also need pay $$... if got all that $$, still need take stupid bus meh? Siao ar! Who don't want to sit down after a long hard day's of work! Got car can ownself blow aircon 24/7 until you die inside thanks to carbon single-side.
Disagree: The allure of monetary incentives is in itself, a wrong motivation for accepting any job offer. Corruption is inevitable. Unfortunately, the values of honesty and integrity that we used to treasure have all evanesced. Take China for example. The government has sworn to clamp down on rampant graft, but the number of wayward officials arrested ever since I bothered to read the newspapers since last year have seemed to equal the entire civil servants in Singapore. As if selling their souls out to greed wasn't enough, some have chosen to stray further by tainting their hearts with murder. People rarely realise that there is no large enough an amount that can truly pacify their voracity.
Agree #2 : Aiyo, our live also last only this long leh, don't enjoy now, when else to enjoy! Just imagine, got $$ liao can eat all the buffet meals you ever wanted, every morning you can eat Mac's nonstop till you drop dead! Eat until you destroy your weighing scale liao how? Use liposuction la! All those fats immediately gone leh! No need waste time go work out, can use that precious time to play, play and play! Sian of going to watch movie when got idiots talk louder than the main character one? Scared what, at home just buy that zai kia movie surround your house sound system lor! Whole day sit back and watch DVD! Scared people around you call you loser ar? Just go chiong and buy all those Crumpler bags, Nike Shox, Louis Vuitton stuff, and all the zai clothes you ever dreamt of! Scared kena robbed when you withdraw money? Scared later your house got burn down or car tio scratched? But then, got money liao, still scared what!
Disagree #2: .... I give up.
Agree #3 : $$$$$$$$$! WHAT YOU WAITING FOR! MUG NOW TO GET RICH AND HAVE A SHUANG LIFE LA!
Disagree #3: =/
Conclusion: I'm so going to fail GP =P

Creo

2007-08-05T04:03:00.000-07:00

终于拿了个冠军, 也算是在退役前的一个圆满的结果, 支持. 祝愿你走好!

Pensiveness

2007-07-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

Potterness!
Well nope I'm not a Harry fan, while I did buy the 7th book on the day of its release, and finished reading it a week later (TURTLE PACE). I needn't queue up for it though, and it's a pity that the store that had a salesman that dressed up as Dumbledore didn't attract that many customers.
I did an online personality test. And it's the most accurate one I did in my whole life (not really long), for both offline and online. It's more specific than that MBTI test that the school has made us paid $2 for. So much for trying to get something done right ^^

Stability results were very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

I can summarise that in 2 words tho : DECEPTIVELY EMO. gg. I hate being confirmed heh =D

PS: Date's mixed because I drafted this, but it wasn't completed then.

Lion

2007-07-28T04:54:00.000-07:00

I read the blog of one of my idols. No, not singing related of course.
It was about his reflections on the latest tournament he played in. He managed to reach the semi's, with a really amazing record so far and I was betting (not literally) that he's going to win 3-0 in the best of five series. He lost 0-3.
According to him, the one big reason why he lost in such a spectacular fashion is because the conditions sucked. Being an European, he's way more likely to sweat than an Asian. Despite pleading the officials at hand to do something such as turning off the stage lights and turning the air conditioner on, they didn't bother to do anything about it.
To quote him, "They nearly dont sweat at all. So a heat for them is nothing, but for me it means everything, it means my head will get slow and sleepy."
He had originally forfeited the third match, but after some consideration he had decided to play on. While his opponent agreed, his manager rejected the offer due to a possible loss in money should he lose, and my idol kept to fourth place then.
Thankfully, my idol bothered to reflect and apologise on his behaviour. This wasn't the first time it happened already, as people worldwide had criticised him for ages on his whiny behaviour and deliberate losses in hilarious ways to show his dissatisfaction. He had also complained about all the matchups he had to face, saying how lousy the race he's using is. It's funny looking at how he described all other races being imba and totally unfair, or how he's losing because the other player didn't need to do half of what he needs to.
Still, I admire him for his bravery. It's totally untrue that Koreans and Chinese don't whine as much, simply because they only do it backstage and even if they've done it online, it wasn't in english. The only thing that makes my idol so much more different is his frankess with what is really happening. He doesn't mind complaining about the 101 things other people don't, because if nobody bothers, the situation can't mend itself. It seems childish to forfeit just because he wasn't not happy with what he had to play with, but it's only so because others might not want to be thrown into the same spotlight. Also, he tries so hard to make it up for all the "imba" he is facing by figuring out how to win every other top player except for one in style, and the respect of a thousands of Chinese fans (challenging). He hasn't stopped complaining though =D
Undoubtedly, everyone wants to attribute their losses to something else. I'm not different.
I can't hit the ball not because it just bounces off in a different direction as compared to everyone else getting easier shots. I can't hit the ball not because I'm not atheletical (no such word) in nature. I can't hit the ball not because the only thing I'm half decent at is computer games. I can't hit the ball not because the meds I'm eating are hindering me. And I can't hit the ball, only because I'm too scared to try - and fail.
I wish I'm half as brave as he is. It's not that impossible.

-王者之战,没有失败者

Glimpse

2007-07-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

I downloaded "Over The Hedge" recently and watched it. Yes, I know it's some ancient movie, but I prefer animations to most other movies because there's a "guaranteed" minimum for entertainment value ( the reason why you would wanna watch any movie in the first place).
It's a film on this raccoon who tried to steal junk food from a bear and lost all of it in the process. The bear got pissed ( can't imagine my Pringles being stolen =( ) and wanted the raccoon to recover them all within a given time, otherwise hes dead by the next full moon. Anyways the raccoon stumbled upon a bunch of small animals which has awoken from hibernation, now in the midst of gathering food.
This raccoon knows how to obtain potato chips, soft drinks, chocolate bars etc etc from homes, and after plundering alot, a lady called in the pest exterminator. And then of course like how almost animations end, the exterminator gets chased away by the animals somehow and they lived happily ever after.
There's one scene that I can particularly remember though. It's about the exterminator demonstrating how to use the traps that would kill/maim/imprison the animals in gruesome ways. As exaggerating the fictional methods depicted can be, it's worth muling over.
Now honestly, I do not have a problem with killing pests. If it's cockroaches or rats, they should all be done away with.
Globally, it's not a surprise as to how cruel animals are being treated on the whole. You have cases of cats being abused in Singapore along void decks not too long ago ( actually it was last year ). You have fishing trawlers killing off more than just fish in their nets. Sharks are thrown back into the sea after their fins are removed for soup making. Pigs are fed tons of sewage water just so that they fetch a higher price in the market. Smaller bears are chained up to entertain.
No, I'm not innocent either. I constitute a demand for all of them (except the cats and bears)
"Survival of the fittest" is something I can't disapprove of. In the wild, anything goes. but at least everything there dies so quick that they're spared the fleeting moments of torture.
We're no less savage then them, and this fact smites us harder when.. it's obvious that we're empowered to clean this all up.
On a side note, movie directors don't produce animations for the sake of reliving their childhood experiences, or to liven up the mood at Hollywood (not that there's a need to).
The tales often spin in more than just money.

Behold

2007-07-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

I managed to watch a few movies recently, such as Die Hard and Transformers. Harry Potter by far was the worst =/
It's a really bad summary of what happened in the book, with only a tenth of the content. I'm no movie critic, but it's obvious that the director was counting on the momentous hype to rake in the money.
Here's how much they actually cut. Kreacher's name wasn't mentioned in the movie. You wouldn't have known that the headquaters is Grimmauld's Place. The black horses (forgot the name) were introduced not by Hagrid, but by Luna. Coincidentally, the kids managed to obtain them although only Harry and Luna were supposedly a ble to see them. Also, you wouldn't have known that Harry and Cho broke up. Hagrid was bruised all over although he didn't mention himself getting trounced. You wouldn't have known that Ron did try for Quidditch. Worse of all, Harry knew about the contents of the prophecy because upon retrieving it, it became a sound recorder. And the list goes on.
Unfortunately, it was impossible to tell that the movie wasn't nice at all because every review gave it 4 to 5 stars. The film's plot became so simplified that it became like a story a little more complex than Cinderella. Even Luna is way prettier than Cho =/
*yawns*
Okay big deal, I've wasted $9.50 on a Saturday because not being the really, really avid fan of Harry Potter, I was unable to enjoy the film.
Uh, what did I just say?...
"not being the really, really avid fan of Harry Potter..."
AH HAH! That explains the way I see things, doesn't it?
Perception is unique to everyone. Fans would find the film extremely enchanting, and would most probably stone me to death in a well for posting the above. Simply said, every story has 2 sides to it, sometimes even more. However, our mind is often only able to view issues in a one dimensional manner.
Yes, no one's mind is truly broad enough to encompass all possibilities. That being said, I now know for sure why the Israel-Palestine conflict isn't anywhere near ending, and it's certainly not solely because of selfish Fatah militants or a silly President Abbas doesn't know how to stamp out militancy.
I am responsible for my thoughts which, in turn determines my behaviour. It's easy to throw everything else out of the window at times when the solution is hidden in all that trash.
It's even easier to scream "IMBA" when I'm losing, when it's simply matter of myself not getting the right things done. I always forget to give credit, unless it's a mirror match. Now, I'm pretty sure the the guy on the other end of the screen has worked just as hard, if not more than I did to win, even though things seems easier from his end, not that I can win while I'm on either side.
Ok, so maybe Harry Potter was a disastrous film only when I'm the one watching it.Like the last line in the movie Transformers, there's always more to things than it meets the eye.
WATCH DIE HARD 4 AND TRANSFORMERS INSTEAD K THX.

Fiasco

2007-07-13T19:05:00.001-07:00

That sums up my CT results =D
Nope, I didn't get a string of U's, luckily not even one yet. But it's not something worth celebrating over, especially since I can't even form cool code words with it. At least SUSU would sound nicer and more memorable than placing together those consonants I've gotten.
I seriously doubt my econs would get a B, which means no H3 for me now, not that I would even want a H3 for econs because I practically know as much about econs as I do about baking cookies : NOTHING.
It's not depressing though, considering the fact that I only studied for 5 days. With promos just 60+ days left to go, I can see a need to MUG MY ASS OFF!
Not.
I'm not one, and I'm too lazy to even try.I'll simply do a little bit day by day, as compared to stoning for many days for the past 7 months. Yup. I'm going to at least score all B's the next time round.
*Foresees a failure in my resolution* That's probably why I've never made any ^^

Antiphon

2007-07-04T06:12:00.000-07:00

The post CT holidays vanished abit too quickly. School today however, needed no books. It's the first day of enrichment week.
In the morning it was the OCS visit. Not all too interesting in the least, since I'll probably be as familiar if not more with those toys in <2 years or so. Had a taste of the MREs (meals-ready-to-eat), and I got this feeling that I'll end up eating more biscuits than any of the the other food available. The last thing I need is weird food messin' with my stomache while I'm trying not to appear a boboshooter. Heck, the only thing that's reassuring about firing on target is a cross hair in the scope of the SAR21.
The dumb dumb backpack signal set is something out of the movie Windtalkers. Unless I'm suffering from amnesia (could be, after CTs), that stuff is used back in WW2 -.-' . While Nokia tosses out new phone models 10x quicker than Coke types, it's amazing how the SAF still has to rely on careful trekking through jungles in case they break the metre long antenna in pieces. There goes radio-ing for help, food, ammo, even a chance to listen to 98.7FM! Ok that's not remotely possible. Batteries take up half the weight of the signal set, and yet it can only transmit signals of up to 3 km more than a handheld one. Maybe Mindef ran out of $$ on communication equipment, they rather feed the troops nicer stuff. OK JOKING. It's obvious we're hidden in the dark as to what the army actually possess for safety precautions.
Camouflage station was funny. We're told to actually look for a cadet hiding, but apparently some mega big bush just blocked everything that I could even "camo" in there with my nj uniform. Not too surprisingly, the cadet was actually sitting on a chair while trying to hide. It's a rare "day off" for them anyway, so you can't really blame them for wanting to slack. I was chosen to have my face painted in a "creative" manner, and ended up having turtles drawn on my cheeks with a "王八" on my forehead =/ Luckily I asked for the "蛋" to be left out.At least I won't get to do that 2 years later, or I'll find myself washing toilets forever ^^
While OCS wasn't too interesting, Pulau Semakou was better.
We took a long ferry ride to "rubbish" island, and had a tour guide telling us about each of the Southern Islands.
The offshore landfill is actually 2 smaller islands, Pulau Saking and Pulau Semakou joined together by 7km perimeter rock bund, to form 350 hectares of "land" space. The sea in between is then divided using sand bunds into cells, 11 currently, and they are sealed by black impermeable membranes. Ashes and non-incinerable stuff are then stuffed into these membranes until nearly full, and are covered by a layer of soil and vegetation. The result? It just looks like any of the surrounding islands. Really neat.
The guide said it's not just politically correct to say it is environmentally friendly, it is factually correct to say so. There isn't a single patch of stale sea water around since cells that aren't used for dumping are connected by pipes to the open sea, and lots of "residents" made this island their home. Unlike the landfill anyone would simply imagine to be piles of rubbish resembling the Rocky Mountains, or being able to sniff it from miles away, there is nothing around indicating that it is even a landfill. It looks like another section out of East Coast Park.
Ok so wow, I just blabbered alot of stats on this island. Oh wait, I've forgotten to mention that.. this is the last landfill Singapore will have and it would run out in 40 years....
ZOMG WHERE'S ALL MY RUBBISH GOING TO GO? I GOTTA SLEEP NEXT TO THEM WHEN I GROW UP? WILL THERE BE "NEWFOOD" FROM WASTE LIKE NEWATER?
No, seriously, I'm not contemplating eating "NEWFOOD" if it ever existed. The manager of the island told us to go and think about solutions to this horrifying waste problem. And so I've thought of some....
1) TAX THOSE PLASTIC BAGS! Maybe this time people will actually consider bringing their own ones around. I don't get how people can get new bags from NTUC each time they shop for a few years and still worry about running out of them. Would also save some $$ for incinerators whenever they burn plastic stuff since they needn't treat any harmful gases.
2) Clothing must be passed down to siblings! This would save money for me - I mean everyone! Kinda sucks when your older siblings are hogging onto a cupboard full of clothes and they're not willing to share >:( . Would benefit me best since I have no fashion sense and I haven't bought clothes in years - literally. I don't know where to get them XD
3) Items are to be given away unless they are spoiled. Would be convenient to pass my ancient DVDs or storybooks off as Christmas presents to my relatives (never did celebrate it). How about that handphone which my cousin is intending to throw away, but when placed next to mine, would be like comparing Nike sneakers to slippers. Apparently my cousin has never seen so ancient a model as mine that he suggested that I keep it so as to sell it in the not too distant future as an antique :(
Ok I shall end here since the rest of the ideas revolve around umm... well you guessed it, "NEWFOOD". Yucks. I'm satisfied enough with all the goodies the cheapskate me is going to get if the above are enacted as laws.
On a serious note, Singapore has really walked pretty far in terms of handling environmental issues. There's only so much landfills, the campaigning on the 3 R's, or having SembCorp place green plastic bags at your doorstep etc etc, can do. We all have to do our part by consuming less and reusing more.
Or you'll end up looking at "NEWFOOD" invading our menus XD

Circumvented

2007-06-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

Like thoroughly =D
The CTs have just ended in a matter of 3 days. Obviously it felt better than last year when every single prelim lasted 2 weeks, since this some really quick and painless death. Why painless? Simply because I'm numbed by the dread of doing the next one in line with my impromptu preparation. It's like how the Russians hand out ONE rifle and some ammo to every 2 soldiers during World War 2. The difference? Even the Russians weren't heading to their deaths as incontrovertibly as I was going to =D
So here's how I fared : HAHAHA. That's all I can remark on my performance in all the papers, since that's the first thing I do the moment the paper's collected.
I'm going to post one of the most truly memorable moments I could recall from the Common Test. Please don't laugh too hard at how stupid I am or how lousy my Maths is. I swear I'm usually 0.01% brighter than what's shown here ^^ Here we go :
Maths. Question 5 is some apgp question and I'm always encouraged to see one because the formulas used can't get any more straight forward. While this question SEEMS as difficult as 1+1, it took me a great 45 minutes to finally... stop considering the question and eventually skipping it.
" The first, third and fourth term of a geometric progression are consecutive terms of an arithmetic progression. ..... Find the common ratio of the geometric progression. "
"NICE! FREE MARKS LOH! WOOHOO!"
*begins to scribble down (a+nd)/(a+(n-1)d) = (a+(n+1)d / (a+nd) and attempts to solve*
*eventually reaches something like (a^2 + dn^2 + nd^2 + ....) divided by something that is full of a's, n's and d's to different powers.*
*scratches head, takes a look at the clock : 10 minutes have passed*
"siao lah! I simplify this till next day also won't get numerical answer one. teachers won't so 'qian bian' de lor, they probably wouldn't pwn us so horribly. if I get this string of C - programming, must be because my eye really really koked up, duno why can divide and multiply until so jialat."
*tries all over again, eventually reaching a result that does not look too far off from the previous one. worse, apparently getting a different one really indicates that I got kok eye =/. stares a while longer while fiddling with my thumbs*
*peers at clock, notices that 25 minutes have passed.begins to bite finger nails.*
"ehh sharks la. this question really con me of my time sia.I should just pangseh this question asap to save myself while I can. all maths papers are very ass one, trying to ka jiao people till they boh time left."
"ah nvm. its a 3 hour paper la, halfway through liao sure got time to sleep one, at most chiong abit faster after this lor"
*mind begins to beat around the bush in unproductive thinking. begins to tear some hair out. thoughts eventually arrived at.....*
"if they are gp terms, then just now the rubbish I wrote should be correct mah! zzz..impossible to simplify that one lah! eh can find r in anothe way!"
"take (a+nd)/(a+(n-1)d) then square root then can immediately get r!*
*tries, and ends up with .....lots of a's and n's and d's to the power of half.throws hands up in the air in despair.*
"OMG ARGHH YOU STUPID QUESTION GO AWAY GO AWAY!"
*beings to bang my head on the table.7 marks have flown away alongside 45 minutes*
I ended up with losing at least 18 marks to leaving questions blank, and probably alot more to mistakes made. To be honest, 3 hours is really more than enough time. It's simply because I miscalculated gravely. So much for taking a MATHS test. How not to when I couldn't even meet the most basic requirement =D

Yippee

2007-06-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

Not a real word, I know =p
Ok so today's my birthday. How was the last one celebrated like? Hmm... playing the comp for god knows how many hours in a row, had all my meals at home, and it was only a full week away from the first paper of Prelim 2. If there's one thing I can definitely remember, it was me wishing that my eye problem would simply vanish altogether.
For obvious reasons, however, I've decided not to wish for that this year. I was informed that my condition had upgraded itself into a frightening "chronic" status, which means the meds would be part of my diet for a long, long time to come =( Yes, that's really bothering me every time I think about it. I know there would be a day that come when I no longer pop extra things into my mouth next to breakfast, but I guess it would still take really long for that to come. But who cares! I'm not dead yet, I can't die directly (indirectly is possible) from it. So what now? Celebrate till then lor =D
Today isn't exactly too different from the previous years. Played comp again in the morning (seems like everyday is my birthday then) before going out to watch Fantastic 4 with my cousin. And then came back home to eat dinner, before heading straight back to the comp....
Oh my. History really knows how to repeat itself, doesn't it?
It still impresses upon me how a dozen other people view their own birthdays as just another boring day, either because their parents weren't there to celebrate with them, or because they had no one to go out with, or because they're still pretty busy or because they have some exam going during the same period of time.
Hmm let's see. Only my dad was around when I started eating dinner for tonight. I have Common Tests next week (barely studied), and I also have to pray for a clean bill of health 2 days later, literally. Guess I am not a whole lot different.
What keeps me smiling then, is the fact that I know that this is a really nice day (albeit not entirely different). Why? Because unlike hundreds and thousands of people else where, I get a chance to "enjoy" this day in a way they wish they could. That being said, I'm really a lucky kid who has managed to clock up a lifetime of 17 years thus far, none of which were all too disturbing or harrowing.
When my brother returned from his BMT POP parade, he told me how one of his friends in the non-combatant unit had a guy whose mum called him one night, telling him that CID (Criminal Investigation Department) was looking for him. Another one of his friends was in the bunk waiting for lights out, when several of his platoon mates were discussing when police raids would occur at which gambling dens. After the POP parade itself, some of my brother's friends had to go over to another platoon mate's house in order to celebrate his son's first birthday. One of my brother's platoon mate had landed himself in jail twice before actually going for NS.
It does sound pretty funny initially when you first these stories, because not even in your wildest dreams would you ever be in their shoes. That being said, it's already evident that alot of us had more fortunate lives. I'm certain that many of these people were forced into such circumstances, trapped in a vicious cycle that they never had a chance to break out of as they're clueless as to how to.
Everyday's pretty "exciting" for them. They're either meeting under the void decks in the day, or gathering at night for a fight they'll have to take part in, in return for protection. How would their birthdays be like? Would they be able to stone in front of the comp as much as I do? Would they be able to just go for a movie in peace? Would they be able to celebrate a birthday without actually smoking or intoxicating themselves?
Given a chance, would they trade their lives for ours?
Nothing's ever enough. If not getting what you want would appear to be misfortune, what would losing something constitute? It's no wonder why Buddhism's a really nice religion - to be an effective buddhist and attain enlightenment, you'll have to be able to give up all forms of satisfaction, except enlightenment itself. No, I'm not a Buddhist, that's why I indulge myself in lots of fun =D
All in all, every birthday's special, because it is a date meant for celebration unique only to my ownself. What makes the date special isn't entirely what happened that day, but what went through your mind that day.
What went through my mind today? A whole lot of fun that, although seem routine to me, may never be experienced by many others who are less fortunate.
Last year, I thought that I have been existing in an amusement park my whole life, because I'm the happiest-go-luckiest person ever who never ceases to look back and laugh. Last year I took the roller coaster ride in ink and paper I thought I would never made it through without my eyes closed. I did it with my eyes wide open, because I still have to see through it no matter how much it hurts. Now, I'm still amused by how much I've actually studied for Common Test, just 5 days away. According to a teacher of mine, the mode for scores is a failure grade. Yet, mugging had the least amount of hours allocated to it. I'll die terribly this time =D
Guess I was right back then.
So what now?
Celebrate till then lor =D
*quoted and editted mei gui's ending*

Iffy

2007-06-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

Moon didn't make it past Korean qualifiers AGAIN =D HAHA
It's some interesting phenomenon to take note of. If Moon is invited personally to any tourney, he wins >80% of them, losing only WEG and WEF from last year. Besides that, he has won all the seasons of W3, IEST, IEF and even the latest WSVG.
I've forgotten to mention, he lost the latest World Wide Invitational to ToD. I guess that's what makes this game really interesting, since placings in the brackets mean alot. While ToD can never beat Sky(whose score against Moon is 1-10) in a human mirror, he stands one of the highest chances of winning Moon in a series of any format.
Ok the above sounds pretty alien to all of you. Here's the point of the whole issue : If there is anything that's certain, it would be that it is uncertain as to who would win next, provided that everyone keeps trying.
*answers the question as to why I fervently click 'Refresh' while they're fighting*
Moon在韩国预选赛被淘汰已经不算冷门了，他没被淘汰才算冷门.
I always pray vigourously for hours in a row for this someone to win it big, just once, for all his hard work and admirable character. His circumstances pretty much define "so close, yet so far".

Mien

2007-06-13T08:44:00.001-07:00

This happened 8 months back in Monza, Italy. Well it is the global WCG finals, so yes, it's really old stuff but I still remember it pretty clearly.I wasn't able to watch the live stream because it is held during 16th to 19th October, and that's when my O levels are. What a pity. Something else other than gaming took place on stage.
*Disclaimer to all : Don't read any further if you are turned off by gaming stuff right away.*
Here's some background info.The top 32 emerged from the group stages to form the brackets. At one corner of it, Gostop (korean) faced off with Syc (china), while the next pair was Sky (china) against some other unknown guy. It's pretty obvious Gostop would be up against Sky next anyway, simply because this is the first time Syc is playing an international competition. Both Sky and Syc play the same race. The competition is in a best of 3 format, first to 2 wins.Also, the staff who runs WCG consists of alot of koreans, because one of the major sponsors is Samsung.
Gostop against Syc : Syc won the first match, Gostop won the next, and the third match was to be played on a map called Echo Isles. Gostop followed a distinct creeping (killing neutral stuff) plan in order to seize an advantage to be on the same footing as Syc. On this map, Syc's race enabled him to expand early, and so it's pretty sickening to fight someone who has twice your income unless you're on level in another way. Gostop had it because of his creeping plan, and won subsequently through a long drawn fight. (shan't bore any of you with the exact reason why, it's irrelevant)
While waiting for the next match, Sky apparently obtained the replay of the that match from Syc (fellow countryman mah, so must help) and analyzed it. It is stated in the rules that replay watching is not allowed, and it is punishable by disqualification. One official of the WCG happened to see Sky and Syc staring into a laptop with the replay ongoing, and is a korean too. He quickly alerted the "relevant authorities" as well as Gostop. Obviously, Gostop was fuming mad. When the official reprimanded Sky, he gave the excuse that he didn't know it was not okay to watch replays since there wasn't any restriction during competitions back in China. Sky was given a "yellow card" for this, but obviously it couldn't harm anyone unless it's handed out in pairs. As both players were walking towards the stage (this match happened to be one of those that the event wishes to highlight, and thus having it broadcasted), Gostop smiled a little bit at Sky and said "You no manner, Sky". Sky asked "Why?" And Gostop replied "Because you watched mine replay."
(Can't blame the broken english because he's a korean, but manner in gaming refers to professional behaviour, and more oftenly refers to how much you whine about things)
Gostop vs Sky : It became a 1:1 after 2 matches, and once again, the deciding match as to who would proceed on to the quaterfinals is played over the same map, Echo Isles (I don't like it personally). Gostop called for the referee and told him what had transpired before, but the referee only asked him to play on. For some silly reason, Gostop simply repeated his routine and continued on the same creeping route. At this one very crucial creep camp, Sky had earlier planted a farm there as a lookout. He had already done his fast-expanding, and was en route to this spot. What I couldn't understand was why Gostop actually bothered to destroy the farm when he could have begun to creep right away. If Sky was really going to "cheat" after watching the replay, he was going to come and bother Gostop, whether the farm did see Gostop walk past it or not.He wasted a full ten seconds, and as a result, Sky arrived on the spot with his men before Gostop hardly finished killing all the creeps. Sky smartly attacked Gostop's men, and doing finishing hits on the creeps just to gain the gold and experience. Obviously Gostop was fighting 2:1 at that time, and it sucks having to keep your own guys alive while trying to guarantee creep kills (imagine doing homework with your pen running out of ink every 5 seconds).
Since his plan is disrupted, he retreated and build up as per normal. Sky finished came to his base and starting pushing (to buy time for your extra income to kick in). Gostop just seemed to stop controlling his units and lost several of them before he ....typed "pppppppppp" and paused the game (which is illegal, unless permission is obtained before pausing). A referee rushed to his side and asked what happened. Gostop told the referee what happened earlier, but he was told to play on AGAIN. He left the game promptly without typing "gg".
Sky was told by his team manager to shake hands with Gostop, since it's part of courtesy. Sky reluctantly walked towards Gostop's booth, and Gostop just went berserk and screamed "F*** YOU SKY" twice with his middle finger in the air. All these were caught on cam, live on video stream, on stage, with hundreds of viewers on hand. Gostop went on to file a complaint with the committee, but was told that he should have reported this before the match started to have any effect. Sky proceeded on to win the finals, being champion twice in a row (would have placed my $$ on him anyway).
The repercussions were there. Gostop had to apologise to his country for his disgraceful behaviour, and he had also unwittingly incurred the wrath of the Chinese fans, which is silly on foresight. Most of the tournaments are held in China anyway because it soon becoming the biggest thing there just like how Starcraft simply thrived in Korea. Imagine playing in a country whereby the fans on hand actually hate you to the core. That sucks.
After knowing what happened, I just thought, hey, why on earth are you that stupid to blow up on the spot in front of cameras and lose your rep? On the other hand, how is it easy to keep your cool when 25000 euro is on the line, and to lose sight of it in such a fashion that can only be blamed on your opponent? To qualify even for the global finals in Korea, it takes ALOT OF LUCK to do it. It's simply because nearly everyone there is a favourite who stand a chance of winning the global finals. If WCG was based on skill alone, Korea would take up 70-80% of the spots, or even more. Obviously nobody in Korea ever guarantees one out of that 2-3 spots for representation in the global finals. That being said, Gostop probably lost his one big chance to win the the most prestigious competition, partly because his opponent already had everything under control even before the match started. It is just too tempting for anyone to blow up on the spot, and not just any bad tempered guy (I doubt Gostop was, anyway). Put yourself in his shoes. What if your dream is shattered in an instant, because someone else was selfish in the course of chasing one similiar to yours? On a side note, I'll give Sky the benefit of the doubt because he's a good guy and he does have the skill to win the whole thing with or without watching the replay.
When things don't go our way and pushes us to the edge, we act on impulse so quickly before oxygen actually reaches our brain. There goes "think before you act". And once you blow up, you can't reverse the consequences. It's an impression, there for everyone to remember how loser-fied you are over something.
To me, it's actually fine. It's human to err anyway, who doesn't ever get angry and screw up his/her reputation? What matters more is if the person is remorseful about his actions, and has intentions to ameliorate his behaviour and reputation all over again instead of letting it fade in dust. And Gostop did that. So yes, he's a man after all. Reflecting on and paying attention to one's bearing does help. Keeps you in check so that you do feel guilty enough to change =D Obviously for the better. Fortunately for me, I've never imploded in my whole life, ever. Maybe it's because I'm too lazy to try.
*begins to wonder how different is it between watching a replay, and having other players watching the big screen or standing next to you while you're playing*

Fortuitous

2007-06-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

I always have this bored feeling whenever I have to be around people I don’t know for a period of time, no matter how short. Simply put it, I’m an introvert, a really weird one at that. It’s truly strange how my mine work, but hey, who really understands oneself completely? No wonder it’s the “in” thing for films to have their protagonist realising the golden truth of attaining victory when the plot wants him to : understanding yourself. I’ll never get to accomplishing that anyway XD
Went for squash camp on last Friday. I contemplated skipping the training so as to get some nice tourney wins to rush my infernal icon, but decided against it for a reason I never discovered. Anyway, an alumni came down to teach us basics all over again and towards the ending part, I had to play 2 games against 2 other new intakers and.... I got beaten terribly bad. I still haven’t figured out how to serve properly =/
After lunch, it was initiative games. The games weren’t exactly about introduction because apparently we only mentioned our names once, but it gave me a chance to see that they’re really funny people who simply like to have fun. Deep down inside, I know I’m just all too similiar. And that’s when I decided to open up just a little bit, because I can’t help it when people like Justin and Boon Hong keep saying “yo” to me and yet I just wave back and resume stoning.
On Saturday, I dragged myself back to school for the camp again. I had wanted to skip it again because I got this knee injury that’s making me limp. Gloria told me that it is “compulsory” because ‘it is a camp” after all. That wasn’t in the least persuading, because I’ve ignored more dire pleas than that ( =p ). Once again, I’ve no idea why I even woke up at 7am. Training was as usual, and Justin taught the new intakers how to drive and I was pretty happy about my own performance. Not because I’m anywhere near average, I can feel that I’m shifting away from “beyond hope”, a feeling I had for the past few trainings. At least I’m able to serve with a higher % (it’s supposed to be 99.9 for any other person) thanks to a simple tip from Justin
I agreed to waste some time away at Justin’s house, and I learnt how to climb the gate ^^ It’s funny how the school caught girls so far when boys have been climbing way more often. Met the girls for lunch later at J8, and went to Ben’s house to watch a DVD brought over by Gloria which is funny in an adult manner. ( n1 mark :D)..
It’s already 5 plus, and we had run approx 5 km at Macritchie. Not in the least bit fun initially considering the fact that I’ve never ran the full distance. I’m simply too lazy to finish jogging through the whole jungle trail or even the endless highway. The team simply ran together and it kind of amazes me what really motivates me to keep running. I didn’t stop because no one stopped, not even the girls, and therefore I didn’t want to stop. There’s this part nearer the transition between the jungle trail and the pavement whereby the terrain is so uneven that it feels as though I was running up and down steps. I really wanted to give up there and then because I was actually moving faster than a jog ( I always do so when I keep thinking that it’s going to end) and I end up disrupting the pacing of my own heart. There was this clearing in the forest that was filled with light and I wanted to just stop running right there...and poof! I’m on the pavement. My legs stopped for a split second, staring at the concrete, winding beast that laid before me. And then I saw 3 others that continued to jog, and my legs just kicked back into life. I had no idea when it was going to end, but after a while the exhaustion becomes unreal. I didn’t know that it’s possible for someone who’s holed up at home 24/7 like me to experience it, but I was at least able to overtake a the leading girl to reach the finishing line ( I’m not a sexist ><). The run was amazing, and as Gloria put it, it’s “fun” but apparently it was literally so to her because she was probably enjoying the scenery the whole time while I was staring at the floor and pushing my mind at the same time
So it’s pretty lucky of me to join squash. Free exercise, good enough a reduction in computer time, really nice, patient and funny people in there. Unlike teddy who complained about his captain believing that everyone has his stamina (HAHA), I would not actually mind attending training as compared to my secondary school days when I can’t wait for POP..
No one ever really knows whether they’ve made a good decision until their efforts come to fruition (in my case, dragging my lazy self to school). How does one really rationalise their decisions? Is it simply a categorization between those of the heart and the mind? Even though I’m a practical person in nature, sometimes I follow a path that somewhere else inside me is nudging me on to. I guess I'll never ever completely know how my mind truly works.
It would take me way, way more than 2 years to know if my decision to stay behind would precipitate in fortune.

Idiot

2007-06-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

Thats me :D If only there's a "Save Replay" function during training that would keep me entertained for weeks to come.It's even funnier than how I can lose my pally from green to zero due to burrows only. .

Met Kai Sheng at the bus stop outside school, so we decided to go back to the courts to play. I lost every single set =/ and it’s because I can’t serve for nuts! I can only score if I can serve and ... well I don’t seem to be able to do it when everyone else is executing it effortlessly :( At least I managed to score more actual points than him! I feel as though I’m finally having an affinity with the ball. Thanks dude for playing with me ^^

Granted

2007-06-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

Just a few days back, a poor fellow died from breathlessness due to a blood clot. He’s a high flier with a double degree, was from GEP in RI etc, and... he just passed away like that.
Just months ago, there were several reports of people dying suddenly in their sleep due to cardiac problems. None of them expected this to happen to them, with the youngest one being 16 years old. Worse still, the report stated that on the average, 300 Singaporeans die this way annually
It took me 16 years to fully realise just how fragile life really is. Once you know that there’s this chance you’re going to be robbed by something that came out of no where, you actually wonder if you should begin to panic and start praying to whoever’s up there to save you.
NAH. No one’s going to save me, simply because I’m too stubborn to be religious. What’s going to happen is bound to happen anyway. Statistics are there for a reason, and it is inevitable that we will all be part of those numbers some day.
Sometimes, we take things that are there to be there forever. But none of us can really, really be bothered until something actually strikes us. And then we go into mourning over what can’t be recovered. For what good cause?
There comes a time when everyone gets to be in that situation, voluntarily or not. It’s my turn now
It’s really funny I can be afflicted by a condition that’s supposed to be hereditary in nature, 90% of it’s victims are age 30 and above, and worse of all, hits 1 in 25000. I’ve already eaten 2500+ tablets, and there’s one really obvious side effect the doc failed to mention – getting so sick of it that you vomit once in a while
But I know it is going to be over soon. Since last year, the status of the cells changed from “having a field day” to “dormant” My cheeks are not as fat anymore because I’m eating 25 less grams of steroids daily (throws away all my photos). I am going to beat this as long as I force more meds down my throat =/.Just a while more. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, when not too long ago, I contemplated wearing shades to reduce incoming light
If it eventually takes away what it came here to do, I’ll still live on, because there is nothing else it can take away. I’ll never lose if I just keep trying (that is, keep eating those rubbish meds)..
IM GOING TO WIN THIS.
*reminds myself to take a break every 2 hours during bnet-ing.*
- Que sera, sera

Scale

2007-05-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

My class was “chosen” to “grace” the closing ceremony of the Singapore International Science Challenge (heck, why didn’t I give the initials). The bus ride into Ngee Ann Poly was just one nice experience, because honestly I’ve never seen soo big a campus ( not that I’ve seen many things ^^) There’s like more than 80 LTs as compared to nj’s 5, and there’s so many blocks meant for the various fields of study
Anyway, the conference hall we entered was like more than four times the size of LT5, and the ceremony was, as always, a waste of time. What can I say? It is entirely irrelevant to me, it’s not like research on snow puppies and their adaptations to the tundra climate interests me in the least bit. And I’m even less interested in who won the whole thing unless it is nj winning it (probably the same for every other nj student there). What made it funnier was the nj students were there for a gosu reason: TO CLEAN UP THE HALL. Really n1. Nj’s school admin is starting to remind me of cat high’s one : they’re both pretty good at wasting the student’s time. Yes, I know it’s important for the hosting school to have their students grace the event, but why couldn’t they let them at least view the exhibits? Otherwise, what’s the point of making so big a fuss out of it when the students can’t even be proud of it? I guess I spent 4 hours there only to get starcraft from kai sheng, and to watch really nice performances from the Indian dance and Chinese dance (I’ve no idea what’s going on in the Malay one nor the Western one).
I watched a dozen reps of starcraft right away because I want to be in-the-know on what to do in match ups I have no clue about. Reps are forever in high supply thanks to China and Korea, because it is a national sport in Korea where the top professional Lim Yo Hwan used to earn more than a hundred grand a year, and due to the fact that China’s rapid modernization leads to millions of teenagers having access to computers. I call it the right game at the right time, like it was just ten years back when starcraft first game out. It didn’t take more than a year for televised leagues to appear, then dedicated channels, and then matches held on open air stages, and even indoor sports stadiums, all in Korea that can boast to have a third of their population playing computer games, and more than 80% of the population is wired up to the net. It’s pretty much the same for China now for warcraft, as there are wars all over the various districts and high schools that would never happen on a similar level in Singapore. Hmph. I can still remember 2 years back during the global finals of WCG held in Suntec there’s this guy who said “how come the antimage can mana burn one?”. As if that wasn’t funny enough, he continued to ask “how come abbadon got razor that aura har?” It’s a pretty tragic thing, actually, to not know the history behind things you’re so interested in. Some people even thought that DOTA spawned a new custom map called standard game. Sighs.
Ok back to starcraft reps. The gameplay is pretty different, obviously. In starcraft, macro makes up 90% of your game performance, where else in warcraft it’s the reverse. It’s always a line of stuff fighting against a line of stuff, no early engagements, just expo and mass. No surrounds needed, no blocking, no early creepjacking to screw someone over. It’s just who masses the right units in the right position with the right expo spots and the right amount of money to tide you through the game. Now don’t start calling me a noob all over. Of course micro’s there to lockdown units or to move marines back and forth to medics. But looking at THAT MANY things dying and not being able to do anything about them sucks. I still prefer real micro :D Guess it would still take a long time before I’m used to macro-ing multiple unit structures and researching ugprades =/ While starcraft simulates a real warfare that gives the player the ability to oversee the process, warcraft simulates skirmishes that gives the player the ability to manoeuvre individual units tactically. Of course, both games require different sets of skills that I’m unable to master at gosu enough a level ^^
Last year, I went for a “motivational” talk whereby the speaker tells us knowledge in general. Of all the knowledge in the world, we’re only aware that 5% of it exists, obviously we’re clueless about what the remaining 95% is. Within that 5% which we’re aware of, we’re only able to understand (albeit not even fully for some) 1% of it. So just how much do we really know about the world around us? =)
In perspective, the enormity of the unknown puts everyone off. Hell, who doesn’t? Why would most people rather take a dive in a swimming pool than in the ocean? Sharks aside, the water is as real as it gets. Once you get to plunge in, you wouldn’t be amazed only at the depth of it. Have you bought your goggles yet?
K, I really amaze myself with the amount of rubbish in my head by this post alone =P
IT IS TIME TO MUG SC REPLAYS! Uh, I actually meant lets mug for common test! ... -.-‘

Name

2007-05-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Had to go to HCI today to help my brother get back his A level cert. Apparently my brother wants to spend his free time during weekdays to playyyy but hey who doesn’t? I bet I’ll need his help for the very same thing 2 years later. So I went over to HC with kaisheng who wants to play tennis with his friend. Some kind soul opened the gate at the top of the overhead bridge for us, and we’re left to wander on our own throughout the school compound. It didn’t take me too long to see that hc is like 10x nicer to look at than nj any time ^^ and there’s like a gazillion basketball courts/street soccer courts/tennis courts you name it its simply there
After grabbing my bro’s cert, I started to think about a choice I’ve made 3 months back. I chose to stay behind. Yet nearly a year back, I was thinking of how to tell gloria “thanks for showing me around during the open house, but I’m not coming.”
Now, honestly, given the chance, everyone wants to go to the best school there is. Who wouldn’t want to score 6 for O levels? Isn’t that what everyone wants to see on their certificate upon receiving it?
It’s simple to figure out why. HC’s a brand that’s pretty undisputed, next to rj. Everything good and nice is associated with it, be it being the champion at nationals of different sports, gold with honours of different performing arts groups at SYF, and of course, the number of As that appear on A level certificates that becomes so common a phenomenon that probability doesn’t even apply there.
The formula’s simple. Good rep = good funding (from so many donors that it’s a wise investment in maintaining the china look to keep em coming) also = good students + good teachers = good results = good rep. So what does this really mean for students there? It allows them to have an imba quota for H3 students (not complaining, I’m not working hard enough now to get it yet), a lot more slots for applicants of scholarships ( not complaining either, not interested in any now), and definitely easier job application in the future (good rep = looks nice on paper). According to my personality test, I scored 25 is to 1 (thinking is to feeling) for how much of which you use to make decisions. So now which part of my thinking got me to stay? I can only remember using my heart for a few instances, none of which is significant enough for me to recall. So yeah, n1 hj, apparently you’ve managed to make one decision without thinking. Isn’t hc the rationale choice? Is there something else in nj worth staying for? Yes, there is. Friends who you can’t simply make all over again can’t be found everywhere. Also, I warm up so slow that I’ll fail tests as often as I get tutorials wrong. Besides, you needn’t be in hc to get to learn from smarter people. Jiaxiang may have slightly lousier O level score than mine but I’m referring to this work half the time. People like mingwei couldn’t cross the road either just because he probably stoned through his oral last year =D. Is there a learning environment I’m missing out on? Nope. Not for a lazy bum like me ^^
My mum once told me something that goes like “would you rather be the head monk in a small monastery, or be a small monk in the bigger monastery?” Yes it sounds so corny it is making me laugh.It simply means that I get to “open my eyes” to the “real world” to see what competition really is like out there. And then there’s also the condemnation ever since I didn’t score well enough during PSLE to enter hc that I’m “lagging terribly behind” everyone else. I proved to mum once already during 9th Feb this year that she’s wrong. And I’m going to do it once more in a year and a half’s time. If only everyone can see things through each other's eyes.
Good rep’s pretty good. I just don’t intend to live up to one that doesn’t fit me.

Torque

2007-05-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

Had to go to Tan Tock Seng on thursday. Its been at least half a year since I've seen my doctor Lim Wee Kiak, but the visit didnt turn out to be a better one =/ For the past few visits, at least i get to hear really NICE news like : "no cells leh, can cut down on med liao=)" now i dont even get to hear good news on my VA (visual analysis), which i always fail to pass :D just when i thought a new pair of glasses without scraches would help me out. I've no idea why the test is on how close to a magnifying glass your eye can function as, instead of reading CLEARLY.
After owning my eyes with LOTS of light, he concluded that there’s still “1+” amount of cells left. Then all the new doctors came and checked my eyes again with LOTS of light, and passed off comments in hope of getting approving responses from my doc. How’s it surprising that everyone wants to be under his tutelage – connection’s everything mah :D After everything’s over, I walked home with 1.5x the azathioprine I needed to consume -.-‘ Not that I’m complaining though, since anything’s better than more PREDNISOLONE that adds fat.
Went for my first squash “training” on Friday. Guessing why I added the inverted commars? I didn’t get to use the racket. Friday’s session was supposed to be a friendly against ns guys, and everyone was given a chance to play. The catch? I can’t even serve :D So Boon Hong said sorry nicely for making me come down, but anything’s better than stoning in front of the comp to watch MOON VS FOV series over and over again. Moon vs FoV series are always way better than any blockbuster movie. All you see is Moon staffing units which are have a coil thrown a them, FoV takes down Moon’s expos as though he has maphack on, and most importantly, how TRI-NUKES just > Moon’s heroes. I WANT MY MICRO TO BE JUST AS SEXY!!111!!11!11!
It matters a hell lot now after seeing SC2 footage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqkOW9E9V10. k I’m willing to pay people to help me change my graphics card to play that :D
K that’s off point. Fact is, I have 11 months from now to learn to play squash. How well I’m going to do well in it as a CCA sort of matters to me, because I don’t want to be computer-ridden ^^ I know that I most probably can’t win anyone within the next year, but the feeling of trying really hard, win or lose, drives me the most. I know for sure that’s the reason why I managed to win my clan leader a few months back :D I’m going to bother to put in effort in training while I can. It’s simply what you do at any changing (pivotal) point of your life isn’t it ?

Pilot

2007-05-19T05:45:00.001-07:00

YO! my first entry :D when i first downloaded prisonbreak (yes im uber illegal), the first episode was titled "pilot" and i never understood why. I was dumb dumb enough to watch that episode THRICE to figure out why its named that way. After reading a newspaper article on " a leak of a tv series's pilot", then did i realise what it actually meant :Dk, i just publicly admitted that im really stupid ^^ and yes you'll see more of that on this blog =/ i've downloaded linkin park's new album like a week ago thanks to soemone who's more illegal than me --> MINGWEI. If you're expecting a meteora-like soundtrack, you're really in for a big surprise. The music has changed so much since their last release that the only thing i could recognise is their voices ^^ and i was sooo darn tempted to delete half the songs because im turned off after listening to them, but that changed after listening to them again a few dozen times ( not that im enlightened, just that im low on songs HAHA). Anyway, i went to wikipedia to search for "minutes to midnight" and apparently theres this section that reads :On May 4, 2007, 10 days before its official world release, Minutes to Midnight was leaked. The following day, Mike Shinoda posted his response to the leak:[7]
"It couldn't be more exciting to give you all new music, especially after all the hard work we put into it. This album was almost a year and a half of experiments, mistakes, inspiration, and careful craftsmanship. We put everything we had into these songs, and want you to hear every second of it. I can't wait for you to absorb all the levels of meaning in the songs, and the layers of music, eventually forming your own ideas about what the songs mean to you.At the same time, a leak leaves out some very important parts of this piece of work. We put months of creative energy into the ART of the record, in the booklet, special edition, and big book...almost as long as it took to record hybrid theory [sic]. The album has amazing photos, lyrics, and notes about how the songs came together--it's the visual half of the record. On the other hand, the super-special-edition book is packed with exclusive images, stories of the making of the songs, gorgeous art, the CD and a DVD that tells the story, showing the actual moments of inspiration caught on camera. For me, it's almost hard to imagine anyone really experiencing this album without that part of it.Even the song sequence alone is very important. It's WAY different to hear the songs in a random order than to listen to this record from beginning to end. At the very least, if you've already downloaded the songs, do us a huge favor and listen to them in the right order...it'll be way more rewarding. "And after reading that, i feel touched enough to go buy the album (YES, IM DUMB DUMB I KNOW) next time any artists who find that their album has been leaked, just have to write that can already :D anything's better than whining about justice being done like some bands some time back ^^~~getting used to the vulgarities they're churning out now~

=DD