Like thoroughly =D
The CTs have just ended in a matter of 3 days. Obviously it felt better than last year when every single prelim lasted 2 weeks, since this some really quick and painless death. Why painless? Simply because I'm numbed by the dread of doing the next one in line with my impromptu preparation. It's like how the Russians hand out ONE rifle and some ammo to every 2 soldiers during World War 2. The difference? Even the Russians weren't heading to their deaths as incontrovertibly as I was going to =D
So here's how I fared : HAHAHA. That's all I can remark on my performance in all the papers, since that's the first thing I do the moment the paper's collected.
I'm going to post one of the most truly memorable moments I could recall from the Common Test. Please don't laugh too hard at how stupid I am or how lousy my Maths is. I swear I'm usually 0.01% brighter than what's shown here ^^ Here we go :
Maths. Question 5 is some apgp question and I'm always encouraged to see one because the formulas used can't get any more straight forward. While this question SEEMS as difficult as 1+1, it took me a great 45 minutes to finally... stop considering the question and eventually skipping it.
" The first, third and fourth term of a geometric progression are consecutive terms of an arithmetic progression. ..... Find the common ratio of the geometric progression. "
"NICE! FREE MARKS LOH! WOOHOO!"
*begins to scribble down (a+nd)/(a+(n-1)d) = (a+(n+1)d / (a+nd) and attempts to solve*
*eventually reaches something like (a^2 + dn^2 + nd^2 + ....) divided by something that is full of a's, n's and d's to different powers.*
*scratches head, takes a look at the clock : 10 minutes have passed*
"siao lah! I simplify this till next day also won't get numerical answer one. teachers won't so 'qian bian' de lor, they probably wouldn't pwn us so horribly. if I get this string of C - programming, must be because my eye really really koked up, duno why can divide and multiply until so jialat."
*tries all over again, eventually reaching a result that does not look too far off from the previous one. worse, apparently getting a different one really indicates that I got kok eye =/. stares a while longer while fiddling with my thumbs*
*peers at clock, notices that 25 minutes have passed.begins to bite finger nails.*
"ehh sharks la. this question really con me of my time sia.I should just pangseh this question asap to save myself while I can. all maths papers are very ass one, trying to ka jiao people till they boh time left."
"ah nvm. its a 3 hour paper la, halfway through liao sure got time to sleep one, at most chiong abit faster after this lor"
*mind begins to beat around the bush in unproductive thinking. begins to tear some hair out. thoughts eventually arrived at.....*
"if they are gp terms, then just now the rubbish I wrote should be correct mah! zzz..impossible to simplify that one lah! eh can find r in anothe way!"
"take (a+nd)/(a+(n-1)d) then square root then can immediately get r!*
*tries, and ends up with .....lots of a's and n's and d's to the power of half.throws hands up in the air in despair.*
"OMG ARGHH YOU STUPID QUESTION GO AWAY GO AWAY!"
*beings to bang my head on the table.7 marks have flown away alongside 45 minutes*
I ended up with losing at least 18 marks to leaving questions blank, and probably alot more to mistakes made. To be honest, 3 hours is really more than enough time. It's simply because I miscalculated gravely. So much for taking a MATHS test. How not to when I couldn't even meet the most basic requirement =D
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Yippee
Not a real word, I know =p
Ok so today's my birthday. How was the last one celebrated like? Hmm... playing the comp for god knows how many hours in a row, had all my meals at home, and it was only a full week away from the first paper of Prelim 2. If there's one thing I can definitely remember, it was me wishing that my eye problem would simply vanish altogether.
For obvious reasons, however, I've decided not to wish for that this year. I was informed that my condition had upgraded itself into a frightening "chronic" status, which means the meds would be part of my diet for a long, long time to come =( Yes, that's really bothering me every time I think about it. I know there would be a day that come when I no longer pop extra things into my mouth next to breakfast, but I guess it would still take really long for that to come. But who cares! I'm not dead yet, I can't die directly (indirectly is possible) from it. So what now? Celebrate till then lor =D
Today isn't exactly too different from the previous years. Played comp again in the morning (seems like everyday is my birthday then) before going out to watch Fantastic 4 with my cousin. And then came back home to eat dinner, before heading straight back to the comp....
Oh my. History really knows how to repeat itself, doesn't it?
It still impresses upon me how a dozen other people view their own birthdays as just another boring day, either because their parents weren't there to celebrate with them, or because they had no one to go out with, or because they're still pretty busy or because they have some exam going during the same period of time.
Hmm let's see. Only my dad was around when I started eating dinner for tonight. I have Common Tests next week (barely studied), and I also have to pray for a clean bill of health 2 days later, literally. Guess I am not a whole lot different.
What keeps me smiling then, is the fact that I know that this is a really nice day (albeit not entirely different). Why? Because unlike hundreds and thousands of people else where, I get a chance to "enjoy" this day in a way they wish they could. That being said, I'm really a lucky kid who has managed to clock up a lifetime of 17 years thus far, none of which were all too disturbing or harrowing.
When my brother returned from his BMT POP parade, he told me how one of his friends in the non-combatant unit had a guy whose mum called him one night, telling him that CID (Criminal Investigation Department) was looking for him. Another one of his friends was in the bunk waiting for lights out, when several of his platoon mates were discussing when police raids would occur at which gambling dens. After the POP parade itself, some of my brother's friends had to go over to another platoon mate's house in order to celebrate his son's first birthday. One of my brother's platoon mate had landed himself in jail twice before actually going for NS.
It does sound pretty funny initially when you first these stories, because not even in your wildest dreams would you ever be in their shoes. That being said, it's already evident that alot of us had more fortunate lives. I'm certain that many of these people were forced into such circumstances, trapped in a vicious cycle that they never had a chance to break out of as they're clueless as to how to.
Everyday's pretty "exciting" for them. They're either meeting under the void decks in the day, or gathering at night for a fight they'll have to take part in, in return for protection. How would their birthdays be like? Would they be able to stone in front of the comp as much as I do? Would they be able to just go for a movie in peace? Would they be able to celebrate a birthday without actually smoking or intoxicating themselves?
Given a chance, would they trade their lives for ours?
Nothing's ever enough. If not getting what you want would appear to be misfortune, what would losing something constitute? It's no wonder why Buddhism's a really nice religion - to be an effective buddhist and attain enlightenment, you'll have to be able to give up all forms of satisfaction, except enlightenment itself. No, I'm not a Buddhist, that's why I indulge myself in lots of fun =D
All in all, every birthday's special, because it is a date meant for celebration unique only to my ownself. What makes the date special isn't entirely what happened that day, but what went through your mind that day.
What went through my mind today? A whole lot of fun that, although seem routine to me, may never be experienced by many others who are less fortunate.
Last year, I thought that I have been existing in an amusement park my whole life, because I'm the happiest-go-luckiest person ever who never ceases to look back and laugh. Last year I took the roller coaster ride in ink and paper I thought I would never made it through without my eyes closed. I did it with my eyes wide open, because I still have to see through it no matter how much it hurts. Now, I'm still amused by how much I've actually studied for Common Test, just 5 days away. According to a teacher of mine, the mode for scores is a failure grade. Yet, mugging had the least amount of hours allocated to it. I'll die terribly this time =D
Guess I was right back then.
So what now?
Celebrate till then lor =D
*quoted and editted mei gui's ending*
Ok so today's my birthday. How was the last one celebrated like? Hmm... playing the comp for god knows how many hours in a row, had all my meals at home, and it was only a full week away from the first paper of Prelim 2. If there's one thing I can definitely remember, it was me wishing that my eye problem would simply vanish altogether.
For obvious reasons, however, I've decided not to wish for that this year. I was informed that my condition had upgraded itself into a frightening "chronic" status, which means the meds would be part of my diet for a long, long time to come =( Yes, that's really bothering me every time I think about it. I know there would be a day that come when I no longer pop extra things into my mouth next to breakfast, but I guess it would still take really long for that to come. But who cares! I'm not dead yet, I can't die directly (indirectly is possible) from it. So what now? Celebrate till then lor =D
Today isn't exactly too different from the previous years. Played comp again in the morning (seems like everyday is my birthday then) before going out to watch Fantastic 4 with my cousin. And then came back home to eat dinner, before heading straight back to the comp....
Oh my. History really knows how to repeat itself, doesn't it?
It still impresses upon me how a dozen other people view their own birthdays as just another boring day, either because their parents weren't there to celebrate with them, or because they had no one to go out with, or because they're still pretty busy or because they have some exam going during the same period of time.
Hmm let's see. Only my dad was around when I started eating dinner for tonight. I have Common Tests next week (barely studied), and I also have to pray for a clean bill of health 2 days later, literally. Guess I am not a whole lot different.
What keeps me smiling then, is the fact that I know that this is a really nice day (albeit not entirely different). Why? Because unlike hundreds and thousands of people else where, I get a chance to "enjoy" this day in a way they wish they could. That being said, I'm really a lucky kid who has managed to clock up a lifetime of 17 years thus far, none of which were all too disturbing or harrowing.
When my brother returned from his BMT POP parade, he told me how one of his friends in the non-combatant unit had a guy whose mum called him one night, telling him that CID (Criminal Investigation Department) was looking for him. Another one of his friends was in the bunk waiting for lights out, when several of his platoon mates were discussing when police raids would occur at which gambling dens. After the POP parade itself, some of my brother's friends had to go over to another platoon mate's house in order to celebrate his son's first birthday. One of my brother's platoon mate had landed himself in jail twice before actually going for NS.
It does sound pretty funny initially when you first these stories, because not even in your wildest dreams would you ever be in their shoes. That being said, it's already evident that alot of us had more fortunate lives. I'm certain that many of these people were forced into such circumstances, trapped in a vicious cycle that they never had a chance to break out of as they're clueless as to how to.
Everyday's pretty "exciting" for them. They're either meeting under the void decks in the day, or gathering at night for a fight they'll have to take part in, in return for protection. How would their birthdays be like? Would they be able to stone in front of the comp as much as I do? Would they be able to just go for a movie in peace? Would they be able to celebrate a birthday without actually smoking or intoxicating themselves?
Given a chance, would they trade their lives for ours?
Nothing's ever enough. If not getting what you want would appear to be misfortune, what would losing something constitute? It's no wonder why Buddhism's a really nice religion - to be an effective buddhist and attain enlightenment, you'll have to be able to give up all forms of satisfaction, except enlightenment itself. No, I'm not a Buddhist, that's why I indulge myself in lots of fun =D
All in all, every birthday's special, because it is a date meant for celebration unique only to my ownself. What makes the date special isn't entirely what happened that day, but what went through your mind that day.
What went through my mind today? A whole lot of fun that, although seem routine to me, may never be experienced by many others who are less fortunate.
Last year, I thought that I have been existing in an amusement park my whole life, because I'm the happiest-go-luckiest person ever who never ceases to look back and laugh. Last year I took the roller coaster ride in ink and paper I thought I would never made it through without my eyes closed. I did it with my eyes wide open, because I still have to see through it no matter how much it hurts. Now, I'm still amused by how much I've actually studied for Common Test, just 5 days away. According to a teacher of mine, the mode for scores is a failure grade. Yet, mugging had the least amount of hours allocated to it. I'll die terribly this time =D
Guess I was right back then.
So what now?
Celebrate till then lor =D
*quoted and editted mei gui's ending*
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Iffy
Moon didn't make it past Korean qualifiers AGAIN =D HAHA
It's some interesting phenomenon to take note of. If Moon is invited personally to any tourney, he wins >80% of them, losing only WEG and WEF from last year. Besides that, he has won all the seasons of W3, IEST, IEF and even the latest WSVG.
I've forgotten to mention, he lost the latest World Wide Invitational to ToD. I guess that's what makes this game really interesting, since placings in the brackets mean alot. While ToD can never beat Sky(whose score against Moon is 1-10) in a human mirror, he stands one of the highest chances of winning Moon in a series of any format.
Ok the above sounds pretty alien to all of you. Here's the point of the whole issue : If there is anything that's certain, it would be that it is uncertain as to who would win next, provided that everyone keeps trying.
*answers the question as to why I fervently click 'Refresh' while they're fighting*
Moon在韩国预选赛被淘汰已经不算冷门了，他没被淘汰才算冷门.
I always pray vigourously for hours in a row for this someone to win it big, just once, for all his hard work and admirable character. His circumstances pretty much define "so close, yet so far".
It's some interesting phenomenon to take note of. If Moon is invited personally to any tourney, he wins >80% of them, losing only WEG and WEF from last year. Besides that, he has won all the seasons of W3, IEST, IEF and even the latest WSVG.
I've forgotten to mention, he lost the latest World Wide Invitational to ToD. I guess that's what makes this game really interesting, since placings in the brackets mean alot. While ToD can never beat Sky(whose score against Moon is 1-10) in a human mirror, he stands one of the highest chances of winning Moon in a series of any format.
Ok the above sounds pretty alien to all of you. Here's the point of the whole issue : If there is anything that's certain, it would be that it is uncertain as to who would win next, provided that everyone keeps trying.
*answers the question as to why I fervently click 'Refresh' while they're fighting*
Moon在韩国预选赛被淘汰已经不算冷门了，他没被淘汰才算冷门.
I always pray vigourously for hours in a row for this someone to win it big, just once, for all his hard work and admirable character. His circumstances pretty much define "so close, yet so far".
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Mien
This happened 8 months back in Monza, Italy. Well it is the global WCG finals, so yes, it's really old stuff but I still remember it pretty clearly.I wasn't able to watch the live stream because it is held during 16th to 19th October, and that's when my O levels are. What a pity. Something else other than gaming took place on stage.
*Disclaimer to all : Don't read any further if you are turned off by gaming stuff right away.*
Here's some background info.The top 32 emerged from the group stages to form the brackets. At one corner of it, Gostop (korean) faced off with Syc (china), while the next pair was Sky (china) against some other unknown guy. It's pretty obvious Gostop would be up against Sky next anyway, simply because this is the first time Syc is playing an international competition. Both Sky and Syc play the same race. The competition is in a best of 3 format, first to 2 wins.Also, the staff who runs WCG consists of alot of koreans, because one of the major sponsors is Samsung.
Gostop against Syc : Syc won the first match, Gostop won the next, and the third match was to be played on a map called Echo Isles. Gostop followed a distinct creeping (killing neutral stuff) plan in order to seize an advantage to be on the same footing as Syc. On this map, Syc's race enabled him to expand early, and so it's pretty sickening to fight someone who has twice your income unless you're on level in another way. Gostop had it because of his creeping plan, and won subsequently through a long drawn fight. (shan't bore any of you with the exact reason why, it's irrelevant)
While waiting for the next match, Sky apparently obtained the replay of the that match from Syc (fellow countryman mah, so must help) and analyzed it. It is stated in the rules that replay watching is not allowed, and it is punishable by disqualification. One official of the WCG happened to see Sky and Syc staring into a laptop with the replay ongoing, and is a korean too. He quickly alerted the "relevant authorities" as well as Gostop. Obviously, Gostop was fuming mad. When the official reprimanded Sky, he gave the excuse that he didn't know it was not okay to watch replays since there wasn't any restriction during competitions back in China. Sky was given a "yellow card" for this, but obviously it couldn't harm anyone unless it's handed out in pairs. As both players were walking towards the stage (this match happened to be one of those that the event wishes to highlight, and thus having it broadcasted), Gostop smiled a little bit at Sky and said "You no manner, Sky". Sky asked "Why?" And Gostop replied "Because you watched mine replay."
(Can't blame the broken english because he's a korean, but manner in gaming refers to professional behaviour, and more oftenly refers to how much you whine about things)
Gostop vs Sky : It became a 1:1 after 2 matches, and once again, the deciding match as to who would proceed on to the quaterfinals is played over the same map, Echo Isles (I don't like it personally). Gostop called for the referee and told him what had transpired before, but the referee only asked him to play on. For some silly reason, Gostop simply repeated his routine and continued on the same creeping route. At this one very crucial creep camp, Sky had earlier planted a farm there as a lookout. He had already done his fast-expanding, and was en route to this spot. What I couldn't understand was why Gostop actually bothered to destroy the farm when he could have begun to creep right away. If Sky was really going to "cheat" after watching the replay, he was going to come and bother Gostop, whether the farm did see Gostop walk past it or not.He wasted a full ten seconds, and as a result, Sky arrived on the spot with his men before Gostop hardly finished killing all the creeps. Sky smartly attacked Gostop's men, and doing finishing hits on the creeps just to gain the gold and experience. Obviously Gostop was fighting 2:1 at that time, and it sucks having to keep your own guys alive while trying to guarantee creep kills (imagine doing homework with your pen running out of ink every 5 seconds).
Since his plan is disrupted, he retreated and build up as per normal. Sky finished came to his base and starting pushing (to buy time for your extra income to kick in). Gostop just seemed to stop controlling his units and lost several of them before he ....typed "pppppppppp" and paused the game (which is illegal, unless permission is obtained before pausing). A referee rushed to his side and asked what happened. Gostop told the referee what happened earlier, but he was told to play on AGAIN. He left the game promptly without typing "gg".
Sky was told by his team manager to shake hands with Gostop, since it's part of courtesy. Sky reluctantly walked towards Gostop's booth, and Gostop just went berserk and screamed "F*** YOU SKY" twice with his middle finger in the air. All these were caught on cam, live on video stream, on stage, with hundreds of viewers on hand. Gostop went on to file a complaint with the committee, but was told that he should have reported this before the match started to have any effect. Sky proceeded on to win the finals, being champion twice in a row (would have placed my $$ on him anyway).
The repercussions were there. Gostop had to apologise to his country for his disgraceful behaviour, and he had also unwittingly incurred the wrath of the Chinese fans, which is silly on foresight. Most of the tournaments are held in China anyway because it soon becoming the biggest thing there just like how Starcraft simply thrived in Korea. Imagine playing in a country whereby the fans on hand actually hate you to the core. That sucks.
After knowing what happened, I just thought, hey, why on earth are you that stupid to blow up on the spot in front of cameras and lose your rep? On the other hand, how is it easy to keep your cool when 25000 euro is on the line, and to lose sight of it in such a fashion that can only be blamed on your opponent? To qualify even for the global finals in Korea, it takes ALOT OF LUCK to do it. It's simply because nearly everyone there is a favourite who stand a chance of winning the global finals. If WCG was based on skill alone, Korea would take up 70-80% of the spots, or even more. Obviously nobody in Korea ever guarantees one out of that 2-3 spots for representation in the global finals. That being said, Gostop probably lost his one big chance to win the the most prestigious competition, partly because his opponent already had everything under control even before the match started. It is just too tempting for anyone to blow up on the spot, and not just any bad tempered guy (I doubt Gostop was, anyway). Put yourself in his shoes. What if your dream is shattered in an instant, because someone else was selfish in the course of chasing one similiar to yours? On a side note, I'll give Sky the benefit of the doubt because he's a good guy and he does have the skill to win the whole thing with or without watching the replay.
When things don't go our way and pushes us to the edge, we act on impulse so quickly before oxygen actually reaches our brain. There goes "think before you act". And once you blow up, you can't reverse the consequences. It's an impression, there for everyone to remember how loser-fied you are over something.
To me, it's actually fine. It's human to err anyway, who doesn't ever get angry and screw up his/her reputation? What matters more is if the person is remorseful about his actions, and has intentions to ameliorate his behaviour and reputation all over again instead of letting it fade in dust. And Gostop did that. So yes, he's a man after all. Reflecting on and paying attention to one's bearing does help. Keeps you in check so that you do feel guilty enough to change =D Obviously for the better. Fortunately for me, I've never imploded in my whole life, ever. Maybe it's because I'm too lazy to try.
*begins to wonder how different is it between watching a replay, and having other players watching the big screen or standing next to you while you're playing*
*Disclaimer to all : Don't read any further if you are turned off by gaming stuff right away.*
Here's some background info.The top 32 emerged from the group stages to form the brackets. At one corner of it, Gostop (korean) faced off with Syc (china), while the next pair was Sky (china) against some other unknown guy. It's pretty obvious Gostop would be up against Sky next anyway, simply because this is the first time Syc is playing an international competition. Both Sky and Syc play the same race. The competition is in a best of 3 format, first to 2 wins.Also, the staff who runs WCG consists of alot of koreans, because one of the major sponsors is Samsung.
Gostop against Syc : Syc won the first match, Gostop won the next, and the third match was to be played on a map called Echo Isles. Gostop followed a distinct creeping (killing neutral stuff) plan in order to seize an advantage to be on the same footing as Syc. On this map, Syc's race enabled him to expand early, and so it's pretty sickening to fight someone who has twice your income unless you're on level in another way. Gostop had it because of his creeping plan, and won subsequently through a long drawn fight. (shan't bore any of you with the exact reason why, it's irrelevant)
While waiting for the next match, Sky apparently obtained the replay of the that match from Syc (fellow countryman mah, so must help) and analyzed it. It is stated in the rules that replay watching is not allowed, and it is punishable by disqualification. One official of the WCG happened to see Sky and Syc staring into a laptop with the replay ongoing, and is a korean too. He quickly alerted the "relevant authorities" as well as Gostop. Obviously, Gostop was fuming mad. When the official reprimanded Sky, he gave the excuse that he didn't know it was not okay to watch replays since there wasn't any restriction during competitions back in China. Sky was given a "yellow card" for this, but obviously it couldn't harm anyone unless it's handed out in pairs. As both players were walking towards the stage (this match happened to be one of those that the event wishes to highlight, and thus having it broadcasted), Gostop smiled a little bit at Sky and said "You no manner, Sky". Sky asked "Why?" And Gostop replied "Because you watched mine replay."
(Can't blame the broken english because he's a korean, but manner in gaming refers to professional behaviour, and more oftenly refers to how much you whine about things)
Gostop vs Sky : It became a 1:1 after 2 matches, and once again, the deciding match as to who would proceed on to the quaterfinals is played over the same map, Echo Isles (I don't like it personally). Gostop called for the referee and told him what had transpired before, but the referee only asked him to play on. For some silly reason, Gostop simply repeated his routine and continued on the same creeping route. At this one very crucial creep camp, Sky had earlier planted a farm there as a lookout. He had already done his fast-expanding, and was en route to this spot. What I couldn't understand was why Gostop actually bothered to destroy the farm when he could have begun to creep right away. If Sky was really going to "cheat" after watching the replay, he was going to come and bother Gostop, whether the farm did see Gostop walk past it or not.He wasted a full ten seconds, and as a result, Sky arrived on the spot with his men before Gostop hardly finished killing all the creeps. Sky smartly attacked Gostop's men, and doing finishing hits on the creeps just to gain the gold and experience. Obviously Gostop was fighting 2:1 at that time, and it sucks having to keep your own guys alive while trying to guarantee creep kills (imagine doing homework with your pen running out of ink every 5 seconds).
Since his plan is disrupted, he retreated and build up as per normal. Sky finished came to his base and starting pushing (to buy time for your extra income to kick in). Gostop just seemed to stop controlling his units and lost several of them before he ....typed "pppppppppp" and paused the game (which is illegal, unless permission is obtained before pausing). A referee rushed to his side and asked what happened. Gostop told the referee what happened earlier, but he was told to play on AGAIN. He left the game promptly without typing "gg".
Sky was told by his team manager to shake hands with Gostop, since it's part of courtesy. Sky reluctantly walked towards Gostop's booth, and Gostop just went berserk and screamed "F*** YOU SKY" twice with his middle finger in the air. All these were caught on cam, live on video stream, on stage, with hundreds of viewers on hand. Gostop went on to file a complaint with the committee, but was told that he should have reported this before the match started to have any effect. Sky proceeded on to win the finals, being champion twice in a row (would have placed my $$ on him anyway).
The repercussions were there. Gostop had to apologise to his country for his disgraceful behaviour, and he had also unwittingly incurred the wrath of the Chinese fans, which is silly on foresight. Most of the tournaments are held in China anyway because it soon becoming the biggest thing there just like how Starcraft simply thrived in Korea. Imagine playing in a country whereby the fans on hand actually hate you to the core. That sucks.
After knowing what happened, I just thought, hey, why on earth are you that stupid to blow up on the spot in front of cameras and lose your rep? On the other hand, how is it easy to keep your cool when 25000 euro is on the line, and to lose sight of it in such a fashion that can only be blamed on your opponent? To qualify even for the global finals in Korea, it takes ALOT OF LUCK to do it. It's simply because nearly everyone there is a favourite who stand a chance of winning the global finals. If WCG was based on skill alone, Korea would take up 70-80% of the spots, or even more. Obviously nobody in Korea ever guarantees one out of that 2-3 spots for representation in the global finals. That being said, Gostop probably lost his one big chance to win the the most prestigious competition, partly because his opponent already had everything under control even before the match started. It is just too tempting for anyone to blow up on the spot, and not just any bad tempered guy (I doubt Gostop was, anyway). Put yourself in his shoes. What if your dream is shattered in an instant, because someone else was selfish in the course of chasing one similiar to yours? On a side note, I'll give Sky the benefit of the doubt because he's a good guy and he does have the skill to win the whole thing with or without watching the replay.
When things don't go our way and pushes us to the edge, we act on impulse so quickly before oxygen actually reaches our brain. There goes "think before you act". And once you blow up, you can't reverse the consequences. It's an impression, there for everyone to remember how loser-fied you are over something.
To me, it's actually fine. It's human to err anyway, who doesn't ever get angry and screw up his/her reputation? What matters more is if the person is remorseful about his actions, and has intentions to ameliorate his behaviour and reputation all over again instead of letting it fade in dust. And Gostop did that. So yes, he's a man after all. Reflecting on and paying attention to one's bearing does help. Keeps you in check so that you do feel guilty enough to change =D Obviously for the better. Fortunately for me, I've never imploded in my whole life, ever. Maybe it's because I'm too lazy to try.
*begins to wonder how different is it between watching a replay, and having other players watching the big screen or standing next to you while you're playing*
Monday, June 11, 2007
Fortuitous
I always have this bored feeling whenever I have to be around people I don’t know for a period of time, no matter how short. Simply put it, I’m an introvert, a really weird one at that. It’s truly strange how my mine work, but hey, who really understands oneself completely? No wonder it’s the “in” thing for films to have their protagonist realising the golden truth of attaining victory when the plot wants him to : understanding yourself. I’ll never get to accomplishing that anyway XD
Went for squash camp on last Friday. I contemplated skipping the training so as to get some nice tourney wins to rush my infernal icon, but decided against it for a reason I never discovered. Anyway, an alumni came down to teach us basics all over again and towards the ending part, I had to play 2 games against 2 other new intakers and.... I got beaten terribly bad. I still haven’t figured out how to serve properly =/
After lunch, it was initiative games. The games weren’t exactly about introduction because apparently we only mentioned our names once, but it gave me a chance to see that they’re really funny people who simply like to have fun. Deep down inside, I know I’m just all too similiar. And that’s when I decided to open up just a little bit, because I can’t help it when people like Justin and Boon Hong keep saying “yo” to me and yet I just wave back and resume stoning.
On Saturday, I dragged myself back to school for the camp again. I had wanted to skip it again because I got this knee injury that’s making me limp. Gloria told me that it is “compulsory” because ‘it is a camp” after all. That wasn’t in the least persuading, because I’ve ignored more dire pleas than that ( =p ). Once again, I’ve no idea why I even woke up at 7am. Training was as usual, and Justin taught the new intakers how to drive and I was pretty happy about my own performance. Not because I’m anywhere near average, I can feel that I’m shifting away from “beyond hope”, a feeling I had for the past few trainings. At least I’m able to serve with a higher % (it’s supposed to be 99.9 for any other person) thanks to a simple tip from Justin
I agreed to waste some time away at Justin’s house, and I learnt how to climb the gate ^^ It’s funny how the school caught girls so far when boys have been climbing way more often. Met the girls for lunch later at J8, and went to Ben’s house to watch a DVD brought over by Gloria which is funny in an adult manner. ( n1 mark :D)..
It’s already 5 plus, and we had run approx 5 km at Macritchie. Not in the least bit fun initially considering the fact that I’ve never ran the full distance. I’m simply too lazy to finish jogging through the whole jungle trail or even the endless highway. The team simply ran together and it kind of amazes me what really motivates me to keep running. I didn’t stop because no one stopped, not even the girls, and therefore I didn’t want to stop. There’s this part nearer the transition between the jungle trail and the pavement whereby the terrain is so uneven that it feels as though I was running up and down steps. I really wanted to give up there and then because I was actually moving faster than a jog ( I always do so when I keep thinking that it’s going to end) and I end up disrupting the pacing of my own heart. There was this clearing in the forest that was filled with light and I wanted to just stop running right there...and poof! I’m on the pavement. My legs stopped for a split second, staring at the concrete, winding beast that laid before me. And then I saw 3 others that continued to jog, and my legs just kicked back into life. I had no idea when it was going to end, but after a while the exhaustion becomes unreal. I didn’t know that it’s possible for someone who’s holed up at home 24/7 like me to experience it, but I was at least able to overtake a the leading girl to reach the finishing line ( I’m not a sexist ><). The run was amazing, and as Gloria put it, it’s “fun” but apparently it was literally so to her because she was probably enjoying the scenery the whole time while I was staring at the floor and pushing my mind at the same time
So it’s pretty lucky of me to join squash. Free exercise, good enough a reduction in computer time, really nice, patient and funny people in there. Unlike teddy who complained about his captain believing that everyone has his stamina (HAHA), I would not actually mind attending training as compared to my secondary school days when I can’t wait for POP..
No one ever really knows whether they’ve made a good decision until their efforts come to fruition (in my case, dragging my lazy self to school). How does one really rationalise their decisions? Is it simply a categorization between those of the heart and the mind? Even though I’m a practical person in nature, sometimes I follow a path that somewhere else inside me is nudging me on to. I guess I'll never ever completely know how my mind truly works.
It would take me way, way more than 2 years to know if my decision to stay behind would precipitate in fortune.
Went for squash camp on last Friday. I contemplated skipping the training so as to get some nice tourney wins to rush my infernal icon, but decided against it for a reason I never discovered. Anyway, an alumni came down to teach us basics all over again and towards the ending part, I had to play 2 games against 2 other new intakers and.... I got beaten terribly bad. I still haven’t figured out how to serve properly =/
After lunch, it was initiative games. The games weren’t exactly about introduction because apparently we only mentioned our names once, but it gave me a chance to see that they’re really funny people who simply like to have fun. Deep down inside, I know I’m just all too similiar. And that’s when I decided to open up just a little bit, because I can’t help it when people like Justin and Boon Hong keep saying “yo” to me and yet I just wave back and resume stoning.
On Saturday, I dragged myself back to school for the camp again. I had wanted to skip it again because I got this knee injury that’s making me limp. Gloria told me that it is “compulsory” because ‘it is a camp” after all. That wasn’t in the least persuading, because I’ve ignored more dire pleas than that ( =p ). Once again, I’ve no idea why I even woke up at 7am. Training was as usual, and Justin taught the new intakers how to drive and I was pretty happy about my own performance. Not because I’m anywhere near average, I can feel that I’m shifting away from “beyond hope”, a feeling I had for the past few trainings. At least I’m able to serve with a higher % (it’s supposed to be 99.9 for any other person) thanks to a simple tip from Justin
I agreed to waste some time away at Justin’s house, and I learnt how to climb the gate ^^ It’s funny how the school caught girls so far when boys have been climbing way more often. Met the girls for lunch later at J8, and went to Ben’s house to watch a DVD brought over by Gloria which is funny in an adult manner. ( n1 mark :D)..
It’s already 5 plus, and we had run approx 5 km at Macritchie. Not in the least bit fun initially considering the fact that I’ve never ran the full distance. I’m simply too lazy to finish jogging through the whole jungle trail or even the endless highway. The team simply ran together and it kind of amazes me what really motivates me to keep running. I didn’t stop because no one stopped, not even the girls, and therefore I didn’t want to stop. There’s this part nearer the transition between the jungle trail and the pavement whereby the terrain is so uneven that it feels as though I was running up and down steps. I really wanted to give up there and then because I was actually moving faster than a jog ( I always do so when I keep thinking that it’s going to end) and I end up disrupting the pacing of my own heart. There was this clearing in the forest that was filled with light and I wanted to just stop running right there...and poof! I’m on the pavement. My legs stopped for a split second, staring at the concrete, winding beast that laid before me. And then I saw 3 others that continued to jog, and my legs just kicked back into life. I had no idea when it was going to end, but after a while the exhaustion becomes unreal. I didn’t know that it’s possible for someone who’s holed up at home 24/7 like me to experience it, but I was at least able to overtake a the leading girl to reach the finishing line ( I’m not a sexist ><). The run was amazing, and as Gloria put it, it’s “fun” but apparently it was literally so to her because she was probably enjoying the scenery the whole time while I was staring at the floor and pushing my mind at the same time
So it’s pretty lucky of me to join squash. Free exercise, good enough a reduction in computer time, really nice, patient and funny people in there. Unlike teddy who complained about his captain believing that everyone has his stamina (HAHA), I would not actually mind attending training as compared to my secondary school days when I can’t wait for POP..
No one ever really knows whether they’ve made a good decision until their efforts come to fruition (in my case, dragging my lazy self to school). How does one really rationalise their decisions? Is it simply a categorization between those of the heart and the mind? Even though I’m a practical person in nature, sometimes I follow a path that somewhere else inside me is nudging me on to. I guess I'll never ever completely know how my mind truly works.
It would take me way, way more than 2 years to know if my decision to stay behind would precipitate in fortune.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Idiot
Thats me :D If only there's a "Save Replay" function during training that would keep me entertained for weeks to come.It's even funnier than how I can lose my pally from green to zero due to burrows only. .
Met Kai Sheng at the bus stop outside school, so we decided to go back to the courts to play. I lost every single set =/ and it’s because I can’t serve for nuts! I can only score if I can serve and ... well I don’t seem to be able to do it when everyone else is executing it effortlessly :( At least I managed to score more actual points than him! I feel as though I’m finally having an affinity with the ball. Thanks dude for playing with me ^^
Met Kai Sheng at the bus stop outside school, so we decided to go back to the courts to play. I lost every single set =/ and it’s because I can’t serve for nuts! I can only score if I can serve and ... well I don’t seem to be able to do it when everyone else is executing it effortlessly :( At least I managed to score more actual points than him! I feel as though I’m finally having an affinity with the ball. Thanks dude for playing with me ^^
Monday, June 4, 2007
Granted
Just a few days back, a poor fellow died from breathlessness due to a blood clot. He’s a high flier with a double degree, was from GEP in RI etc, and... he just passed away like that.
Just months ago, there were several reports of people dying suddenly in their sleep due to cardiac problems. None of them expected this to happen to them, with the youngest one being 16 years old. Worse still, the report stated that on the average, 300 Singaporeans die this way annually
It took me 16 years to fully realise just how fragile life really is. Once you know that there’s this chance you’re going to be robbed by something that came out of no where, you actually wonder if you should begin to panic and start praying to whoever’s up there to save you.
NAH. No one’s going to save me, simply because I’m too stubborn to be religious. What’s going to happen is bound to happen anyway. Statistics are there for a reason, and it is inevitable that we will all be part of those numbers some day.
Sometimes, we take things that are there to be there forever. But none of us can really, really be bothered until something actually strikes us. And then we go into mourning over what can’t be recovered. For what good cause?
There comes a time when everyone gets to be in that situation, voluntarily or not. It’s my turn now
It’s really funny I can be afflicted by a condition that’s supposed to be hereditary in nature, 90% of it’s victims are age 30 and above, and worse of all, hits 1 in 25000. I’ve already eaten 2500+ tablets, and there’s one really obvious side effect the doc failed to mention – getting so sick of it that you vomit once in a while
But I know it is going to be over soon. Since last year, the status of the cells changed from “having a field day” to “dormant” My cheeks are not as fat anymore because I’m eating 25 less grams of steroids daily (throws away all my photos). I am going to beat this as long as I force more meds down my throat =/.Just a while more. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, when not too long ago, I contemplated wearing shades to reduce incoming light
If it eventually takes away what it came here to do, I’ll still live on, because there is nothing else it can take away. I’ll never lose if I just keep trying (that is, keep eating those rubbish meds)..
IM GOING TO WIN THIS.
*reminds myself to take a break every 2 hours during bnet-ing.*
- Que sera, sera
Just months ago, there were several reports of people dying suddenly in their sleep due to cardiac problems. None of them expected this to happen to them, with the youngest one being 16 years old. Worse still, the report stated that on the average, 300 Singaporeans die this way annually
It took me 16 years to fully realise just how fragile life really is. Once you know that there’s this chance you’re going to be robbed by something that came out of no where, you actually wonder if you should begin to panic and start praying to whoever’s up there to save you.
NAH. No one’s going to save me, simply because I’m too stubborn to be religious. What’s going to happen is bound to happen anyway. Statistics are there for a reason, and it is inevitable that we will all be part of those numbers some day.
Sometimes, we take things that are there to be there forever. But none of us can really, really be bothered until something actually strikes us. And then we go into mourning over what can’t be recovered. For what good cause?
There comes a time when everyone gets to be in that situation, voluntarily or not. It’s my turn now
It’s really funny I can be afflicted by a condition that’s supposed to be hereditary in nature, 90% of it’s victims are age 30 and above, and worse of all, hits 1 in 25000. I’ve already eaten 2500+ tablets, and there’s one really obvious side effect the doc failed to mention – getting so sick of it that you vomit once in a while
But I know it is going to be over soon. Since last year, the status of the cells changed from “having a field day” to “dormant” My cheeks are not as fat anymore because I’m eating 25 less grams of steroids daily (throws away all my photos). I am going to beat this as long as I force more meds down my throat =/.Just a while more. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, when not too long ago, I contemplated wearing shades to reduce incoming light
If it eventually takes away what it came here to do, I’ll still live on, because there is nothing else it can take away. I’ll never lose if I just keep trying (that is, keep eating those rubbish meds)..
IM GOING TO WIN THIS.
*reminds myself to take a break every 2 hours during bnet-ing.*
- Que sera, sera
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