Tail

It took quite some time before the results of PW actually sank in. There wasn't much of a need to reflect on the work I put in - I stayed up longer into the night for gaming than I ever did for the stupid subject. I never had troublesome teammates, unless you count the supervising tutor that condemned us to fail since last year April. Nonetheless the implications are frighteningly non-existent. either because I got an A or it didn't mean anything in the first place.
Whenever anything has come to an end, deep down inside we all know it hasn't. For example, after my PSLE I really thought I could play all day for the rest of my life until Sec 1 kicked me in the nuts for being second last in class.
The process is supposed to be more interesting; nobody ever takes more than a glance at the fullstop after a sentence. I can honestly attest to that, simply because my memory is horrendously not selective when it comes to mundane events in the past as compared to the block of text residing in notes which I must remember now.
If it was anything about PW that I can remember, it was me describing the composition of our Written Report as well as the preparation for the Oral Presentation to be nothing short of an "extreme makeover". Not because I have watched the show (not once), but because these two words alone sums it all up.
My understanding of how memory works is overly simplistic. Everything that we have experienced has always been there, residing in some unknown section of our brain. In order to recall that piece of information, a key word or feeling is attached to it for convenience. Thats how I remember stuff for exams anyway. You don't throw out all of your system files onto your desktop; there are folders for a reason. And remembering what happened earlier than two years old is rather impossible unless you've been abused terribly bad, so be thankful for the way it is now.
I can think of a really perfect paragraph to describe my secondary school life, but I'll be too shy to say it. I can attach "..." to my past five birthdays or so because it has been that way and pretty much the same for all of them. "SON OF A -----" has been stickied onto certain people. But being fortunate, I never knew how to describe how my whole life has been so far.
"The end draws near" is what this unit called the "warden" in my game always say as a response whenever you move her around. With my attention glued to a billion other details happening on screen, I never had the time to consider these words in entirety. Her aim is to bring a fugitive back to his cell, but upon doing so, it simply implies that the reason for her existence no longer exists. I never took the story seriously, so don't shoot me for being beyond an addict.
For all the things in life we ever knew them to be, we are very, very selective in the way we want them to turn out to be. More often than not, life *clowns* back at us in the face by showing us just how little control we actually have. This is not to say that we should hate it and say "gg I'm out", but instead hope for the best with trying, knowing that at least you can't lose. I panicked a week before NAPFA because I know I can't jump. That will be the deciding section to see if I'll have to enter the army 2 months earlier (only sickos want to). 220cm seems really far because that's more than two-thirds the mat - if you've seen the 3m long mat you'll be freaked out too. At the third try (when only two was allowed), I swung my hands like a monkey and actually went ONE CENTIMETRE beyond the 220 mark. I did a 221! To be honest, there's nothing miraculous about the above, sorry.
There hasn't been so much of an end as there was a start for anything. Authors demarcate chapters for cataloging purposes; man designate segments of time to be millenniums and centuries for reference; God (which I haven't believed in yet) spins the Earth daily so that we'll get our lazy selves off the bed when the sun shines over our ass. In reality everything flows endlessly,being independant of whether we're there to make it happen. But because we aren't fictional sentient beings, we'll never be the wiser to the obvious, and we'll never be able to marvel at truly grand things.
Continuity correction aside, it's so much better if we simply stop to reflect consciously, and not during self assigned checkpoints. This way we won't lose sight of what's really happening around us.
Whenever anything has come to an end, deep down inside we all hope it hasn't - and that's what makes it all the more beautiful to begin with - because it only lasts this long.